Surviving Survival

My mission and passion finally in motion...

SURVIVING SURVIVAL

“Sometimes even to live is an act of courage.” ― Seneca

It has been a very long journey since I was diagnosed with cancer on May 18, 2010. Can't believe it has been almost 6 years.

I have been through more since the day I was diagnosed than I ever thought humanly possible. It has been my mission for a while now to use these events to help others.

I am currently out of a job. I still have my life-coaching practice though. I have applied at many places and gone on lots of interviews. None of them felt right. Every day when I was searching, I just wasn't feeling it.

As I called upon everything I possibly could out there in the universe to help me, I ended up getting a months worth of income and two new clients completely out of nowhere. I pondered all of this knowing that I was on to something.

I went on four interviews with a company and was sure I would be made an offer. Over weeks of waiting, I knew in my gut I wasn't going to get it because I knew I wasn't supposed to be going that direction for some reason.

I have always known that I would continue to be a business owner and I have know for years and years that there is something SO much bigger on the horizon for my life. I know it is completely impossible to have gone through the things I have gone through and all the lessons I have learned to not teach it to others.

Through technology, I will now be able to reach anyone, anywhere!! It doesn't matter where you may live, we can connect. I can do LIVE webinars. I have a course now for depression, suicide thoughts and attempts and more.

I am looking forward to this adventure and am excited to get going on creating courses for cancer survivors next!

My first intro webinar will be next Tuesday night at 7:30 CST.

Sign-up here: http://eepurl.com/bW-K69

Contact me: kelley@feelthetatas.com

YouTube Video: https://youtu.be/-LDCSmQy-ho

Invitation to join my new forum

I have started a new forum and I would love for you to join and be a part if you are interested. Please share the link with others you think could benefit from this.

I wanted to create a place for survivors. Survivors of divorce, infidelity, cancer, depression, suicide attempts, suicidal thoughts and much more. A "safe" place to share our struggles, trials and victories. A place where we can all share freely and also share tips on how we get through and what works for us.

It is called, "Surviving Survival" and you can join or share http://s15.zetaboards.com/Surviving_Survival/index/

Thank you so much for your continued support in my journey.

Love,

Kelley

Change Your Password, Change Your Life!!

“It is only when the mind is free from the old that it meets everything anew, and in that there is joy.” 

― Jiddu Krishnamurti

I work with clients all the time who have limiting beliefs. Towards the end of the process I take them through, we change those beliefs to new ones that they "wish" they had. I then ask them to say those new beliefs to themselves at least 200 or more times a day. 

Nearly 100% do not believe that it will work. For instance, if I have someone who has told themselves their entire lives "I am not good enough," and they have done it repeatedly and completely believe it, they will have a very hard time believing that by just saying, "I am good enough" enough times that it will actually work and change their inner and outer world. 

It's funny because it sure worked beautifully when saying the negative thought over and over! Two days ago, I changed the password on my iphone. I have used the old password on my phones since my very first cell phone ever. For two days now, I STILL keep entering the WRONG password. And every single time that the phone shakes and I only then realize I put in the old password do I remember that I changed my password. 

You see, I have done this over and over and over SO many consecutive times each and every single day that my brain has actually formed a neural pathway. It has learned that old password SO good that I don't have to remember it, literally when I pick up my phone, that pathway get itself into motion without me doing anything at all!! 

While learning about neuroscience, I discovered that each one of us has the ability to create a NEW pathway and completely rid ourselves of the old one. It is through repetition. So what's happened is, today a few times, I have only entered 2 of the 4 numbers of my old password before realizing that I need to put the new one. Probably by tomorrow I'll only forget a couple of times. And by the next day, not at all. Within a few weeks though, when I pick up my phone, that old password (way of thinking) and the memory of even needing to put in a new password will flee my mind. 

The old pathway will no longer be "fired" or triggered at all. In a sense, it will die. BUT, a new pathway will have formed, the one I WANTED to form and all will be well. 

SO yes, if you say something or do something enough times repeatedly and consistently, YOU too can change your beliefs. Thinking to yourself that you are "Not good enough" is the NUMBER ONE limiting belief that we all have. 

So give it a try, tell yourself "I  AM GOOD ENOUGH!!" Say it to yourself over and over and over! Even when you don't believe it. Remember, you have told yourself the opposite for so very long that you believe it now. You are changing your brain, but it is going to take you some time. In doing this, you will start noticing people start to treat you better. Why? Because YOU are treating yourself better!!

Finally able to blog again!!!

OMG, I cannot even believe how long since I have blogged. I have been locked out of Blogger and haven't been able to figure out what the problem was. I have been wanting to blog for forever to catch everyone up on what all is going on in my life but haven't had the time to spend to figure out the issue.

The other day, it finally hit me what I needed to do and it just worked!!

SO, I am very glad to be back in the blogosphere. I am still doing the life-coaching of course. Ready to get more clients. I am now known as "The Survivor Coach." I just LOVE IT!! I am also the Director of Training and Director of Operations for the life-coaching school. I love teaching others how to become a great coach.

I am about to start doing live video webinars. Starting out, these will be for anyone who is completely DONE with their cancer treatments. NOT for anyone newly diagnosed or currently in treatment. The first one will be called, "Surviving the After Shocks of Chemotherapy."

Then probably starting early next year, I am going to start other webinars to empower women. This has been a dream of mine for quite some time. I want to help women know their worth and value. I want them to know that there truly is NOTHING in life that can stop a determined woman.

I am also going to start back at writing my book...my autobiography. AND, start blogging more regularly.

Looking SO forward to this new stage in my life! Give me a shout out so I know who all is still out there!!

Love to all,

Kelley

Hurting people, hurt people

I've always known this saying...."Hurting people, hurt people." But there is no greater lesson than experiencing it for yourself. I don't think it is any secret to anyone that I have pretty much completely abandoned church and many of those who call themselves "Christians." Yes, I know some of you reading this right now are already constructing an email in your head to me telling me how Christians aren't perfect, just forgiven. And I've heard it all before that at church, there are "No perfect people allowed." I've heard all of the little sayings such as "They're only human."

If you are a follower/reader of my blog, you know my story. You know what I have been through and you know what I have endured right along with my children. I have not been blogging much lately, let me finally explain why. When my divorce was final, I lost my health insurance and for me to get Obamacare, it was going to cost me $600.00 per month. I have spent about $200.00 this entire year on doctor visits and medicine. Anyway, since I lost my insurance, there was no way I could stay on the medication I was taking after my attempted suicide. I had been diagnosed with severe situational depression and PTSD. It is my belief that chemotherapy caused this depression and as I have said repeatedly in this blog, I have never been the same after taking chemotherapy. I have had doctors and psychiatrists completely agree with me and tell me it is their belief that chemo causes this as well.

I was doing really good off all the meds. I was actually very happy and proud of myself. It is nearing two years since my husband walked out on us. I started feeling like it was finally time to start dealing with it all emotionally. Just as I started to work on it, I fell into a very deep, dark, scary place. Worse than the place I was at when I attempted to take my own life. Only those VERY close to me, which are very few, knew what was going on. I spent every minute of every day not wanting to live life and being very angry with God that he allowed me to live. Enduring 60 seconds of life was excruciating for me. If you have never struggled with this, you will not under any circumstances understand it.

Since he left, I have cried just a little, a handful of times, over the entire situation. At this time, I didn't realize I had sunk right back into severe depression again. I spent 5 entire days straight unable to stop crying and couldn't even keep it together in public.

When I was like this before, I did not tell a single soul and I never, ever cried. No one, and I mean NO ONE, knew how bad I was. No one knew I thought of death as my friend, the only thing that could possibly bring me relief.

I have always been very skeptical of anyone who tells people they want to kill themselves because I have always thought it was for attention. I now know first hand that that might not always be the case. This time, I knew I needed to reach out to someone. THANK GOD, I have one very faithful and true friend left. I haven't known her too long, only a few years if that. But I knew I had two options on this particular day. I could end my life or I could make a phone call. That day was the beginning of my downward spiral that led up to all the crying.

As I got worse, I had some very disturbing things happen to me by someone who has never been dearer to my heart than any other soul. I have been accused, slandered, belittled, humiliated, gossiped about, lied about, and there isn't enough space here for me to continue. And yes, this not only happened to me, but to another person as well. Both of us at the time were extremely depressed, seeing a life-coach and seeing a psychiatrist. When I got wind of the first bombshells, it was on a day I spent trying to talk myself out of jumping off a damn bridge. This also came on a day this other person was fighting suicidal thoughts. Had it not been for me and my newer friend being able to talk so frank and openly that day, I believe I for sure might not be here today and who knows what would have happened to her all due to someone else's ignorance.

So hurting people, hurt people? Words cut very deep. If you claim to be a Christian or anyone I guess for that matter and you are hurting people, please remember that you have literally NO idea what someone is going through. Something you do or say could send someone over the complete edge and all for what? I wish I knew the answer. My suggestion is that if you give a damn about anyone, pray for them in your OWN prayer closet. You know why there even IS a prayer closet? So you and GOD and you two only can hash things out. If you go to any other person and tell them something all so they can "pray" for the person, it is only pure gossip and is straight from the pit of hell. This behavior causes more and more people daily to end their relationship with church, church people and potentially their very own lives.

 This is a VERY SERIOUS matter!!!!

I don't let too many people get close to me and I'm guessing I never will after this experience. But the good news is, I am back on medication and although it was about three weeks of complete mental hell, I feel like I am back to my old self. I have a new friend who was very helpful to me during the darkest of those days. If you feel suicidal, please reach out to someone. I had a couple of friends, my sister, the lady I live with and my adopted sister that I reached out to for the first time about this issue. People suffer in silence. Why? Because so few understand or know what to do. But you know what? Every single time I got up enough courage to call one of these individuals it helped me get through another day. One friend and my sister were able to just listen as I told them I did not wish to live life. They listened as I bawled my eyes out like they had never witnessed me do before. They listened with love and without judgement. They prayed with me and for me. They didn't go share my issues with other people or in their weekly "Prayer meeting." To those people, YOU are the ones who give me hope that there are still genuinely good people in the world. Don't be alarmed, I have a very close relationship with God and I always will have. He will never abandon me, nor I him. He alone is the only constant and faithful friend until the end of time.

I know these people were very scared for me. Hell, I was terrified of myself. I felt like I was a danger to myself. But I know for a fact that if I had not had them to talk to, I probably wouldn't be writing this blog today.

I hate having to take medication. I hope it is not something I will have to do forever. But, it is a must for now. I cannot be ashamed of it. And, I think that there are too many people just like me out there that need for this to be talked about. I guess my biggest message to anyone out there today is that sometimes, suicidal people don't take their own lives....it's someone else's cruelty that actually pulls the trigger.

 DON'T BE THAT PERSON!!

A life should be honored and valued while the person is still living, not after they are gone. Some consequences for mistakes made are totally and completely permanent. Sometimes, there are NO take-backs.

Hand me downs...and I'm NOT talking about clothes here!!

I remember what a blessing it was to have two daughters. When they were young, I could pass down the older ones clothes and save a ton of money. Hand me downs were always nice. Being a girl myself, I have had friends give me hand me downs and I have given away a lot myself. Hand me downs were always a good thing in my mind.

I was sitting here this morning thinking about hand me downs. As a life-coach, I listen to stories on a daily basis of some not so helpful hand me downs people have been given. In our lives, we have life altering events that take place and those very events create limiting beliefs in our minds. Those beliefs are "seared" into our brains literally. They form a new neural pathway in our brain.

It can be compared to the pathway around your yard if you have a dog. After going around the same path for so long, you can see the path as it gets worn down. It is the same way with our minds. When we hold onto these limiting beliefs, when we think the same thoughts repetitively, it gets further engrained in our brain.

I'll give you an example. I have suffered a lot of loss in my life. My father left my life when I was a young girl, I lost a 4 month old child when I was 17, lost my mom when I was only 23, lost my breasts to cancer at 40, lost a 20 year marriage at 43, etc, etc. I remember when my dad left, even at such a very young age, I formed a belief that you can just "lose" people. So when I lost my child, it further confirmed that belief. With every subsequent loss, the belief became pure reality in my thinking brain.

Every single trauma or tragedy that we have suffered creates a limiting belief. Dr. Jayne Gardner owns The Gardner Institute where I received all my life coaching credentials. I have worked with her for many years. She has a fascinating tool she created called a re-wire. Neuroscience has proven that we can actually re-wire our brains with NEW beliefs. Going back to the event and figuring out what limiting belief was created is the first step. It takes a lot of work to install a NEW belief and therefore creating a NEW neural pathway. But it indeed works.

Dr. Gardner is having a one day event at the end of January where she will do demonstrations of a rewire LIVE!! It is one of the most phenomenal things I have ever witnessed. If you want to learn more about this event, you can check it out here. Evolve Retreat