My new job part 2

Kelley says.....

As always there is so much I want to say that I have to really ponder what I want to write. I guess I will just start by telling you more about what goes on at my job. We have clients that have hit a bad patch in their lives. Some of these clients are executives who have lost their jobs. A lot of them are just like me and you.

They start off by making an appointment to come in. When they get there they are greeted by a volunteer. Then, they meet with a counselor who is also a volunteer. The counselor gets their story, asks them questions to get to know them better and see what is going on in their lives. Then, the client is presented the gospel!! How awesome is that?! There are lots of tears and awesome stories that come out of this time. Once they are done with the counselor, they get to go pick out clothes for each person in their family and any household and miscellaneous items we have that they may need. Once they are done in our clothing room they are met by more volunteers who have all their food items on a wagon and their items are taken to their cars and unloaded for them.  They can come and do this once every 30 days.

We have many events throughout the year. I started at the beginning of October and for Thanksgiving we gave out frozen Turkeys and all the trimmings so they could fix their own meals at home. It was a great day. We all went and volunteered and the girls met people all day that were in the same position we were in back in 2009 when Deryl had lost his job.

For Christmas we had a big Birthday Party for Jesus. Every child received a gift as well as every adult! It was so amazing. I just loved every single minute of it and again, my whole family was able to be a part. After this we moved on to what is called "Adopt-a-family". These families stories break my heart. Most of you who know me or have followed me for a while know that I grew up very poor. I lived many years of my childhood in trailer parks. I was always so embarrassed and always picked on and bullied because of it.

The majority of the families who filled out an application in hopes that they would be adopted live in trailer parks. With the exception of families who actually live in old chicken coops. Yes, you read that correctly. There are some old chicken coops that were made into an apartment type living environment and this section is very close to the trailer parks.

I must say that the following story blessed me more than anything else I have experienced at my job so far. The day we were going to deliver some gifts it started raining. I just couldn't believe it. A lot of these people don't have any transportation and if they do they don't have the extra gas money to come pick up their gifts. But it isn't really somewhere you want to go after dark. So delivering gifts was proving to be difficult.

If we didn't get these gifts to these families, they weren't going to have Christmas. I couldn't stand it. I was determined that I would do everything in my power to get as many gifts as I could delivered. Keep in mind, I had never actually been to these areas yet, I had only heard about them. I loaded up my 4 Runner and we loaded up another volunteers SUV and off we went. It was dreary outside and sprinkling off and on. As I got started with my deliveries and I started getting glimpses into these peoples lives a flood of memories came rushing back in my mind from my own childhood. I thought about how awesome it was that God provided this job for me. I felt so incredibly blessed at that moment but so sad that nothing like this existed when I was young. There is just no way for me to go to work each day and not be so very thankful.

I think some people really have no idea what it means to be poor. I mean I know for a fact that some people actually feel like they are poor if they can't go out to eat and to the movies whenever they want. I myself have felt poor if I can't go get clothes for my children that they need. But let me describe poor to you. The majority of applications we took in for families that were hoping to be adopted didn't request dolls or toys or things you would imagine for their children. They asked for socks, underwear, and shoes. Some of the ladies asked for cleaning supplies. The closer it got to Christmas the busier we were. We ended up being totally booked all the way until January 10th and no one could even get in for an appointment. People were calling in saying that they were completely out of food or that their electricity had been turned off.

We all know that things are bad in the economy right now but things are much worse than you could ever imagine for a LOT of people. My job is at a non-profit and they are ran almost completely on volunteers alone and they accept no help from the government. They run strictly on donations. I just think it is amazing and I ask you, my faithful followers of this blog to pray that God would bless my boss and his wife abundantly!! They have a vision to have a medical and dental facility on the property as well. They do SO much more that I would have to write a book to tell you all about it. But it is wonderful.

We have a short bible study and prayer time every Monday. We pray for the clients and other things. On my first Monday there, I found out that not only that small group of people but that several HUNDRED people had been praying since early in 2011 for the perfect person to fill my position. So people were praying me into that job back when my world had completely collapsed back in Texas!! Isn't God just SO darn amazing? I still can't believe it. I know there were the naysayers that questioned how we could have moved so quickly but they just didn't understand. When I found out how so many people who didn't even know me had been praying for me I just couldn't contain the tears. God never ceases to amaze me. So I am here to tell you once again that God is a God of the impossible. Don't worry about what anyone else thinks. Just trust in the ONE who is always on your side and will NEVER let you down!! He is always, always, always FAITHFUL!!

Infected or Contagious?

Kelley says..................

Last weekend, I went to watch my niece compete in a Fine Arts competition. One of the categories was "Short Sermon".  One of the girls competing talked about the differences of being infected or being contagious. She said that contagious means ""tending to spread from person to person". I started thinking about this. The more I thought about it I realized that I am "infected" with cancer but not "contagious". 


It started coming to my mind that that is exactly how we are a lot of the time as Christians. We get infected with Jesus but we stay that way and never get contagious. We never share him with anyone and we don't allow him to rub off on others. Honestly, I have never been the kind of person to go out and "witness" to other people. I couldn't stand it when someone did that to me when I was not saved and I would never want to push someone the other direction. But I do know for sure that when it comes to my walk with God, I want to be contagious!! I don't want to have this awesome gift and keep it all to myself.

I'm not going to sit here and not be real with you and say I haven't questioned my faith through all of this at different times. I mean, it is hard, it sucks, I wish I didn't have to go through this, I wish my family didn't have to go through it. I have lost two of the closest people to me in my life and that alone should be enough for a lifetime. But these moments of questioning don't last long. I try to focus on what all God HAS done in my life. And you know what? He's done some pretty incredible things. Especially with timing. Of course, I always think at the time that his timing couldn't be worse. But as I look back on my life, there are countless things where later on I realized they couldn't have happened at a better time in my life and that God knew exactly what he was doing. I ask myself, "What if you having this at this time in your own life is going to save many others through early detection?" Well, that brings joy to my heart and is something I hold onto. 


I am the "little sister", "the baby". My brother is 9 years older and my sister is 10 years older. My brother just cannot understand why God would allow this to happen to me. He is taking it all very, very hard. I know all the memories of everything we went through with watching our mother die must make it that much harder. But I have never once said to myself "Why me?" I just think that to say that is pointless in my situation. All I can think about is "Why NOT me?" Little kid's with their entire lives ahead of them get cancer. People go through major trials and health issues every day. The biggest question to me is "How am I going to get the message out about self-breast exams?" I want to start speaking at events NOW to spread the word. I hate that I have to go through surgery & recovery first because I want to shout it from the roof tops NOW, so more and more women will see how important it is. 


I feel like there are lives God wants to save and he is offering ME the opportunity to be a part of something much bigger than myself. I cannot sit idly by and watch the opportunity pass me by. So again I ask, "Have you Felt your Ta-Tas this month?" If not, why not? Please, go do it now!!!! It could save your life! Here I am, a living example.


Love you all so much. Thanks for reading our blog.

Room 223

Kelley says.........................................I have spent the last 10 days in somewhat of a fog. As I mentioned in my last post, I went away for 24 hours to deal with all the raw emotions I have right now. On the way to the hotel I felt like I was going to barely be able to keep it together just to get myself checked in. But driving there I just kept hearing and seeing the words "I AM STRONG". I thought to myself ya know, I have lost a child for crying out loud and then my mother! I really am strong and I'm going to be able to do this.  

I got settled. I got out my journal, pen, bible and my MP3 player. I then took off all my clothes to change into the clothes I sleep in. I stood there and stared at myself in the long mirror completely naked. I looked at my body and the realization that unless I am miraculously healed, no matter what happens, no matter what procedure I end up having done, I will never look the same way I do at this very moment ever again after my surgery.

I had so many emotions flowing through me. I felt like someone drew blood from me only they didn't take blood, they took a huge part of ME, of my life, of my family, of my job, my normal routine. Then I was injected with change, fear, sadness, grief, questions, anger, nervousness, anxiety, and much more.

My brain doesn't stop. Since being diagnosed, I haven't really felt myself being overcome with fear or worry. It's really weird and hard to explain. Its more like just thousands of questions zooming through my head 90 miles an hour. And it is very hard to even pull one of the thoughts out to concentrate on because there are so many.

I started to journal by writing down every single thing I was angry at God about. I could feel the anger rise up within me along with sadness and tears. I ripped out a page of my spiral, wrote "GOD" in big letters, laid it on the bed and proceeded to beat it with my hairbrush. After just a few times, I stopped and grabbed my MP3 player to listen to some worship songs I had put on there about healing. And some other songs that just make me very emotional. I knew I was sad and needed to go ALL the way there rather than run from it. Its at times like these I would normally bury my head in Deryl's shoulders. But this was between me and my God.
I listened to the worship music and raised my hands in worship to him. I didn't have any bend in my elbows at all. They were stretched all the way out. When one got tired I'd just put it down and then switch to the other. I knew if there was just a way to touch the hem of his garment, I'd get through this.

When I think about how this isn't fair I think "What is fair?" We aren't born with some kind of guarantee life is ever going to be fair. Suddenly, I could feel the real Kelley slowly start to stand up. You know, the one on the inside who got knocked down when she found out she had breast cancer. Those words kept coming back to me...I AM STRONG. Then the fighter in me said "Where's the boxing gloves?"

This isn't going to get me. I am going to accomplish more knowing that I have cancer than I ever could have without it. I've always been a hard headed, controlling, stubborn brat! So I might as well take that part of my personality to take cancer by the horns and take it down. I am a fighter, I am not a quitter, I AM STRONG! This is about me grabbing hold of my God. This is about cancer NOT determining my fate nor my destiny.

Could my cancer actually be a gift to me? I mean, God is entrusting ME to take this and do something with it. I can't sit around and feel sorry for myself any longer. My attitude is everything, I truly believe it. Instead of letting this ruin my life, it is motivating me to eat better, to live better, to get better.

I grabbed my beat up piece of paper with God's name on it, smoothed it all out as nice as I could and held it tight on my chest and the following is what I said to him... The biggest part of me belongs to you God. I am a sold-out believer. You have my heart God. No matter where this journey takes me, I'm yours. I may have questions & I may not understand this, but I can only love you more. I thought to myself...

• What if through my journey and how I handle this experience, one person came to know my savior? Then it would be worth it.

• What if instead of making my children run away from God, it made them run to the arms of their God? Then it would be worth it. 

• What if my good friend who is grieving over the loss of someone dear to her found healing? Then it would be worth it. 

• What if one woman saved her life because she "Felt the Ta-Tas"?  Then it would be worth it.

I realized at this moment that I am a survivor NOW. I don't have to wait on surgery or chemo or radiation or some doctor to tell me so!! God gave me some great ideas on how to reach even more women through this and I was sure to write them all down. I felt so much better. I tossed and turned all night and woke up in tears, again. It has been a sad day and I went to visit Deryl at work and he was also having a sad day. My take away from all this emotional work is that I know I can face whatever lies ahead of me.

I will never be able to express my gratitude to all the people in our circle and even the people who don't even know us who have been reaching out to us. I so strongly feel your thoughts and prayers and I appreciate them greatly. You will never know how much you are helping us right now. I love you all and hope this extremely long post blesses you today.