I feel like I blogged my journey from the day I was diagnosed all the way through the hurricane that hit my marriage and then kinda just stopped. Well, not kinda....I guess I really did. It was just a blog here and a blog there. The past year will eventually be told but it just isn't time yet. Most of you reading this know I am just totally raw, open and real so just know that when God releases me, I'll be one bloggin' fool!
But I can say this, over the last 12 months I have let the enemy down right steal my joy, my freedom, my faith, and even myself. As much as I know my husband cannot meet my needs and only God can, I looked to him to do so and didn't even realize what I was doing. Slowly but surely, one tiny event that lead to another ended up with me basically letting the enemy rule my life and take it right out from under me.
About 4 weeks ago, I started really worshiping God in the mornings before I started any devotions or quiet time. Slowly but surely I just felt myself getting stronger. The scripture came to me "If God be for you, who can be against you." I started hearing this scripture in sermons I would listen to, in books I would read, in my daily devotions, my best friend sent it to me in a text. This week I went into my coworkers office and she having no idea about anything in my life had changed her screen saver to that very scripture.
God started revealing to me that I just MUST surrender to HIM. I MUST. He started whispering in my ear that I MUST trust him, trust him fully, surrender to HIM FULLY. I am such a worshiper and the closer I get to God the more I realized my thought life was ruling me completely. As I would wake up each day and start with worship I realized how much better it made my days. It made my attitude better, it was slowly changing me. Finally, I realized that the answer is worship. We all know this scripture, right?
Philippians 4:8
Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.
But how in the heck do we really live that out? Especially since I had totally given the enemy complete dominion over my mind and thoughts. As I worshiped my mind was totally on Jesus, every word, every phrase brought me peace. So I at least realized this was where God wanted me to start and that is where I am at. I don't know who else needed this today but I'm here to tell you that worship is indeed the answer. Are you weary? Are your thoughts out of control? Is fear dominating your life? Then start to worship. Listen to the words. Even if you have to loop a song, do it! There is a song I have been looping all week and it is by Third Day, it is called "I need a miracle." You should go find it on youtube and listen to the words and really soak it in. You'll be blessed, I just know it.
The real Kelley has been gone for quite some time. And through a series of events that have lead me to this very moment, I will share with you over time, but for now I know deep in my heart that the Kelley the enemy has had in hiding is coming back. I can't wait to see what God has in store for me and my future. And I know for fact that he has big plans for YOU too.
But how in the heck do we really live that out? Especially since I had totally given the enemy complete dominion over my mind and thoughts. As I worshiped my mind was totally on Jesus, every word, every phrase brought me peace. So I at least realized this was where God wanted me to start and that is where I am at. I don't know who else needed this today but I'm here to tell you that worship is indeed the answer. Are you weary? Are your thoughts out of control? Is fear dominating your life? Then start to worship. Listen to the words. Even if you have to loop a song, do it! There is a song I have been looping all week and it is by Third Day, it is called "I need a miracle." You should go find it on youtube and listen to the words and really soak it in. You'll be blessed, I just know it.
The real Kelley has been gone for quite some time. And through a series of events that have lead me to this very moment, I will share with you over time, but for now I know deep in my heart that the Kelley the enemy has had in hiding is coming back. I can't wait to see what God has in store for me and my future. And I know for fact that he has big plans for YOU too.