Wednesday, May 16, 2012

A must read for EVERY dad...

Well, today, May 16th, 2012 my father died. And what did I "feel"? Absolutely nothing. No emotion whatsoever. Think about it, think about your child or children right now at this very moment. Could you imagine them grown? Could you imagine screwing up so bad that when they got married you not even being invited to the wedding? Could you even imagine dying and every one around you feeling relieved? This is my story.

My father left my mother for another woman when I was about 4 years old. I was the baby and a total daddy's girl.  I loved, loved, loved my daddy. Shortly after he got a job and moved to another city. I have a brother 9 years older and a sister 10 years older. To avoid paying child support for my brother and myself for that matter, he tried moving and avoiding paying. My mom worked two jobs my ENTIRE life to try to make ends meet. She would ask him to help and it was like pulling teeth to get him to help.

I remember an occasion where we didn't have any food. Literally we had ONE piece of stale bread left. My mom handed it to me. I tore it in half and gave it to her. I'll never forget that look in her eyes. Never. To think that at this time I knew my dad could help if he just wanted to. But, he did not. Miraculously after much prayer, my mom's boyfriend brought us groceries that very night. It was my first experience seeing a miracle happen before my very eyes.

Years went by and because of a court order I was MADE to spend time with my dad and my mom couldn't do anything about it. It was a miserable time and I hated every second of it. The older I got the less I saw him. I had no respect for him. He was extremely hard to get along with and because he hurt my mom SO bad and I watched him neglect me over the years I just couldn't get past it.

My brother is gay. As soon as my father found out, he gave my brother a piece of his mind and NEVER spoke to him again. Mind you, my brother is my rock through and through. Do I wish he wasn't gay? Yeah, I do. I think his life would be easier. But you know what? He has been with the same person for over 30 years. They both treat me and my children so very good. They both do for us more than my father EVER even thought of. As a matter of fact, my father really never did absolutely anything that I can remember out of the goodness of his heart. But, that is me. I actually have been thinking all day long and I cannot remember a single good memory of me and my father.

I know my brother and sister have a different experience because they are so much older than me. My dad actually has 4 children but only spoke to my sister. Why? I truly believe it was because of 100% pride and nothing else. His need to be prove a point. Dad's, please don't do this to your family. Thinking of divorce? You better re-think it real quick. Divorce has LASTING implications on EVERYONE involved.

As Father's Day approaches, what kind of dad do you want to be? Are you letting your pride stand in the way? What kind of legacy are you leaving to your children? When your time comes, what do you want your children to be able to say at your funeral? These are profound questions that you should seriously consider. Father's can make a HUGE impact on their children. It is about time that fathers step it up!! Let go of your pride and make a difference. You have SO much to offer your children and grandchildren. Do something you can be proud of....with no regrets. Even if you have regrets, start over TODAY....make a difference in your children's lives and the generations to come!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Friday, May 11, 2012

My Nosey Angel

I don't even know where to start this entry! When I was first diagnosed, literally just days before my surgery, I got free tickets to go to "Sing for the Cure" in Dallas. We went and it was SO awesome. But before the event started, we were walking around and we saw these "two guys" wearing pink suits and pink shoes, one of them had on a pink hat too! I am saying in this blog post "two guys" because the first time I mentioned the dad in a post I said I met "a big black guy". I think some people got offended by that. But I don't see color!! If he was a big white guy, I would have said "a big white guy"!!

Anyway, we saw them and immediately went up and were just so excited that the dad and son would support their wife and mother like that. Well, as it turns out, the DAD was the breast cancer survivor!! I couldn't believe it. We took their pictures and later on we ran into them again and I took my picture with them. We talked for a bit and he encouraged me and told me a little bit about his story and I think he gave me his card or I gave him my info...I can't even remember right now. So, keep in mind that this was at the Myers Symphony Center which is huge. We go get our seats and lo and behold, they are both sitting next to us!!!! I was like..."uh, NO WAY!?!?" I knew right then God was up to something.

After the event we saw each other again and he encouraged me more and I told him how nice it was to meet them and then what else would I do but give him a big hug! I saw his eyes light up and he smiled SO big. I'll never forget the look on his face as long as I live. It is a shame to say that his eyes lit up because he was so surprised that this white girl would give him the time of day much less a big fat HUG! This man e-mailed me, called me, encouraged me and he hasn't stopped doing so to this very moment. We are friends for life. I get him and he gets me too.

It is really weird because if we would have just met on the street, we probably wouldn't have become friends. But this was a God ordained moment. A moment in time that bonded us together forever. I have been desperately needing to "feel" God's love. And oh what a week it has been. He has shown me every single day how much he loves me. The first two days of the week I got totally random complements from two different people. Yesterday, right when I felt like I was about to bust into tears, my hubby called me. I didn't have time to answer but it was nice to know that he was thinking of me. Today, my bosses wife sent a beautiful single rose with him for ME to work. Just because.

I say all of this to say that you just never know who's ANGEL you might be. This "guy" I am talking about, his name is Michael. Funny, I just realized I've known him all this time and I don't even know his last name. Every time he calls me, he calls me "sis". I just love it!! No one calls me "sis" but him and it thrills my heart to hear it! OH, and by the way, his nickname is "Dr. Nosey" because he asks so many questions! But I love it.

When we have a "thought" or and "idea" we need to stop and ask ourselves is this just a random thought or something God might be up to that will drastically impact the life of someone else. Michael bought me the angel in the picture. I guess you could say he's like my hero. "LET" someone else impact your life or better yet, GO IMPACT THEIRS!! And don't you dare let FEAR stop you from doing so!! It could change their life FOREVER!