Wednesday, December 5, 2012

Having a tough time?

Sometimes as a Christian woman it is hard. Actually, for any Christian...period. I think we as Christians have turned young people and others away from "the church" which in turn makes them doubt all they've ever been taught. In my life alone I have had church experiences that the kids witnessed first hand. Some actually reached out to my girls during a very difficult time. Not to love on them but to find out gossip about what was going on in our lives at the time.

The girls thought these people really and truly cared about them but found out otherwise. We all go to church like we are all okay and we are not. I met with a young lady the other night and I did not know her personally. I shared my story with her first so she could know I could relate to some of the things she is going through. Through that conversation and others I've had this week I just realize that we as Christians have done some real damage to others.

Sure, its nice to go to church and be all smiley, if in fact you really are. And it would irritate others if we went to church down and depressed every week. But what I have said since my diagnosis is that EVERY SINGLE PERSON HAS A STORY. We don't know what someone else is going through and we sure don't come across as a safe person to talk to. Let me stop here and say I am not saying ALL Christians.

My mom grew up pentecostal and her family preached hell, fire and brimstone only! She wasn't near as "religious" as they were. In my generation, I went with the non-denominational type church that wasn't so legalistic and uptight about everything. I just can't stand people who think they are better than you and you know they are standing there talking to you and judging you all at the same time.

Well, my children's generation appear to be very discerning and have the ability to see that going to youth they just go with a bunch of other hypocrites and they ALL have "clicks". This is the message portrayed to our children? Well no wonder they wander off so far away. I myself have been turned off by churches and church people and my husband has never recovered from what someone did to us 5 years ago trying to "help" in the name of God.

We are all human, yes. But I believe the more we are vulnerable and real the more people will be drawn to us. If they look at us and think they see perfection they will never be able to live up to that and might not ever give church or God another shot. I just wish we could all be real with one another.

Speaking for myself, I have realized this week that I am not defined by what or how ANYONE feels about me. My value is found in the God who created me and loves me so much that he gave his only son to die for me. The closer I get to him the more peace I have. Worship is something that gets me to that place. Sometimes when days are hard I look at my watch and tell myself that everything is okay, I just need to make it two more hours, if I do that it will all be fine. If two hours come and I still don't feel that peace I just repeat it. Before long, the more I seek God I am not trying to make it through a couple of minutes or hours. But rather, I am counting how many good days or weeks I am having instead the bad days.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that I encourage everyone young and old to get in a relationship with God himself. Let him reveal himself to you in a fresh new way. Have your own walk with the Lord and not one that belongs someone else. Find your God and learn everything YOU can about him. Rather than doubt all you've ever been taught about him, find him for yourself. God is so faithful. He loves you and cares about you and wants a real relationship with YOU. If you seek WILL find him and your life will never be the same.

Friday, October 26, 2012

Worship is the answer

Well, I know all of you who have followed me from the beginning know that I have struggled to say the least in the past few years. Ya know, anyone who knows me knows that I love God with all my heart and that I know 100% that HE and HE alone is my only hope.

I feel like I blogged my journey from the day I was diagnosed all the way through the hurricane that hit my marriage and then kinda just stopped. Well, not kinda....I guess I really did. It was just a blog here and a blog there. The past year will eventually be told but it just isn't time yet. Most of you reading this know I am just totally raw, open and real so just know that when God releases me, I'll be one bloggin' fool!

But I can say this, over the last 12 months I have let the enemy down right steal my joy, my freedom, my faith, and even myself.  As much as I know my husband cannot meet my needs and only God can, I looked to him to do so and didn't even realize what I was doing. Slowly but surely, one tiny event that lead to another ended up with me basically letting the enemy rule my life and take it right out from under me.

About 4 weeks ago, I started really worshiping God in the mornings before I started any devotions or quiet time. Slowly but surely I just felt myself getting stronger. The scripture came to me "If God be for you, who can be against you." I started hearing this scripture in sermons I would listen to, in books I would read, in my daily devotions, my best friend sent it to me in a text. This week I went into my coworkers office and she having no idea about anything in my life had changed her screen saver to that very scripture.

God started revealing to me that I just MUST surrender to HIM. I MUST. He started whispering in my ear that I MUST trust him, trust him fully, surrender to HIM FULLY. I am such a worshiper and the closer I get to God the more I realized my thought life was ruling me completely. As I would wake up each day and start with worship I realized how much better it made my days. It made my attitude better, it was slowly changing me. Finally, I realized that the answer is worship. We all know this scripture, right?

Philippians 4:8

Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.

But how in the heck do we really live that out? Especially since I had totally given the enemy complete dominion over my mind and thoughts. As I worshiped my mind was totally on Jesus, every word, every phrase brought me peace. So I at least realized this was where God wanted me to start and that is where I am at. I don't know who else needed this today but I'm here to tell you that worship is indeed the answer. Are you weary? Are your thoughts out of control? Is fear dominating your life? Then start to worship. Listen to the words. Even if you have to loop a song, do it! There is a song I have been looping all week and it is by Third Day, it is called "I need a miracle." You should go find it on youtube and listen to the words and really soak it in. You'll be blessed, I just know it. 

The real Kelley has been gone for quite some time. And through a series of events that have lead me to this very moment, I will share with you over time, but for now I know deep in my heart that the Kelley the enemy has had in hiding is coming back. I can't wait to see what God has in store for me and my future.  And I know for fact that he has big plans for YOU too.

Wednesday, October 17, 2012

"Sewing for Tatas" update!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This is going to be my favorite blog post yet!!!! The first picture is of my dear friend LaVonne. She is close to 70 years old and is one of the volunteers that I manage at my day job. And let me tell you, she runs circles around me! She was the first one in Georgia to start sewing for me. It was her idea to make the little pillows to put under your arms after surgery and you can also use them to protect your stitches from the seat belt. She is awesome, awesome, awesome!!

Next is the second volunteer that I have sewing for me. Her name is Darla and she is SO awesome as well. She actually ordered tags to put in the gowns and paid for them herself!! What a blessing!!!!

The last picture is of Max. I went to a support group in Dallas called "Sisters". My good breast cancer friend Michael went there as well. My ministry has finally gotten big enough that I was able to send the "Sisters" group a box full of gowns. Max was the first recipient of one of my gowns. Oh, what joy this ministry has brought to me. Cancer sucked, don't get me wrong. But, it brought me to so many wonderful people that I otherwise would have never met in my entire life. I don't blame God. I don't blame chance. I focus on all the wonderful things it did for me. And you know what, it did some wonderful,, wonderful things for me. I met my dear friend Michael who is black. In any other circumstance we would have just passed each other by. But this was a God encounter and I have had SO many other God encounters with other survivors that it is just unreal!!!!

I know most of you follow my blog and know about "Sewing for Tatas". But, the ministry is growing. There are cancer patients EVERYWHERE!! I need monetary donations and/or donations of material. So far, myself, LaVonne and Darla spend our own money to make this ministry happen. A local church had a fund raiser and I was their first recipient of the funds!! It was so exciting. They bought me material and binding tape and stuffing for the pillows as well. It was very, very, exciting.

So, pray for this ministry and/or donate whatever you can! I know you all know someone who has been touched by cancer in their lives. So give back and touch the lives of these cancer patients!! And thank you in advance for your support.



Sunday, September 9, 2012


Meet Lily. Isn't she just adorable? The girls and I went to Wal-mart and there were several signs that said "Maltese/Shitzu puppies for sale". Anytime we see a sign for puppies I never, ever stop. We all know the consequence to stopping just to "look" at a puppy. It's kinda like stopping just to check out a new car.

Our current dog has diabetes and he is the best dog I have ever in my life owned. But he has had a lot of health issues and has cost us an incredible amount of money. I'll be SO sad when he leaves this earth but the thought of going through this again with a dog just does not sound appealing. That is until you hold a sweet little girl like this one pictured in your hands. So calm, so sweet, so irresistible.

Rachel was the worst. She wanted her SO, SO bad. She told me all the reasons we needed her as I backfired with all the reasons we did NOT need her. After we ALL held her and fell in love with her I just knew it was time for me to walk away and go back to the car and pass her off to someone else. I did. Rachel was the last to come to the car. When we got to Wal-mart we just couldn't stop talking about her. I asked the girls what in the world would we name her if we did get her. Rachel came up with the name Lily and it just stuck. Even though we will probably never lay eyes on Lily again, that is her name to us.

Later on that day, I was alone with Heather and we were talking about Lily. What an amazing opportunity for me to parent Heather. I told her that the situation with Lily is EXACTLY like ANY kind of temptation or sin. Temptation with food, alcohol, sex, drugs, gossip, judging, you name it. When we are in the moment it just feels SO RIGHT! It feels so good and wonderful and you feel like you just MUST have it right that instant. Everything in our flesh screams "I want this", "I deserve this", "Why shouldn't I let myself have this?" But it really doesn't last long.

For instance, I want a newer 4 Runner. Mine has 130,000  miles on it and I would really like a new one. But if I went to just "look", I would end up getting one and would probably be unable to resist. We really do know ourselves, if only we would just admit it. Many spouses "lust" for just one look. But then that look turns into much more than just a look. I've gained 30 pounds and have lost 15. But every time I am tempted to eat something I really shouldn't, I have to fight with my flesh to make the right choice. If I don't, I pay no matter what. If I choose to cheat in anything in life, I will pay according to my very own consequences.

I was able to explain this to Heather and fully detail for her how our flesh works and how easily we succumb to it. Isn't that awesome?! My point is that the simple answer is to just walk away. Temptation really doesn't last that long. Try to follow a rule that you determine. Say 15 minutes for example. If you still want that piece of dessert or to go eat seconds after 15 minutes... AFTER you have walked away, then let yourself have it. If the temptation is something bigger like cheating on your spouse, walk away and seek God. Even if you are deciding on a big purchase, if you don't have complete peace, you should walk away. If it is meant to be, it will still be there when you go back.

I have discovered that having two blogs is really, really difficult. I just don't have time to maintain the two. I've always had a huge following on this blog but the other one just has never picked up. SO, I will leave the other one up but I am going to just start updating this one regularly. My story, is my story. It is all intertwined together and I KNOW "Feel the Tatas" was a God idea. So, I at this time feel led to share my life on this blog whether it has anything to do with cancer or not. Do you agree? Please leave me comments. I love hearing what you all have to say. Even though you don't usually say much! But I truly do value every readers opinion. Thank you for being faithful readers to this blog through the good times and the bad, following me all along my journey.

Love to you ALL,


Sunday, July 29, 2012

Chemo and weight gain

When my mom had cancer 20 years ago and she went through chemotherapy, she lost so much weight because she was so sick. Well, a lot has changed in 20 years! I'm not gonna lie, when I found out I was going to have to get chemo I thought well at least there will be one positive thing about all this....I'll lose weight.

At this point I had been eating raw foods and fresh juices since the day I was diagnosed. I had lost about 15 or so pounds and looked great. When I found out about chemo the nutritionist told me I couldn't eat like that anymore because there was too much risk in me getting an infection from bacteria or whatever on fruits and veggies.

So needless to say, I pretty much just ate whatever tasted good which was Mexican food and a bunch of other junk. With all the steroids you take you are starving all the time it seems. And really, I think I gained weight whether I ate too much or not! It was terrible.

Since finishing chemo I did lose the 20 pounds of weight I gained only to turn around and gain 30!!!! I know a lot of you who have had chemo have struggled with the same thing. Well, last Tuesday I started the Glycemic Index diet and have lost 9.4 pounds now!! So I only have 20 more to go. You can Google it and find out all about it. I also went to the library and got every book they had on it so I could see what all I could eat and what kind of recipes I could make.

It's been relatively easy. And this is the first weekend I have made it through without blowing it on the weekend. And this is the first week I really stuck to it. I don't think I've ever lost weight this fast in one week but I am really excited about it. Deryl is doing the same thing only he doesn't eat fruit, bread, rice or pasta and he lost 5 pounds the first two days! So, just wanted to throw that out there for those of you struggling with your weight. It's at least worth a shot, right?

Monday, June 18, 2012

Do you ever get stinkin' tired of being a Christian?

Sometimes I just wonder how many people "question" my Christianity. I really do. If you keep up with my two blogs, you know that there are actually people out there who literally "doubt' God......they "doubt" their OWN faith because of my life and the hand I have been dealt. I know some people wonder how I am still standing, how I am still alive. I can't lie, I wonder some of these very same things for my own self.

Life can never be fully explained. I truly believe with ALL of my being that God treats us and disciplines us like we are his ONLY child. I believe that we are made for FAR greater things than we could EVER, EVER imagine. When I first started this blog, I had literally THOUSANDS of readers. Now, it is about 100-200 regular visitors. I will say this now and I will believe it until the day I die that I WILL be a WORLD changer. I don't know how long and I don't know to what magnitude but I WILL continue to make it. I will work my butt off until I am released from the Holy Spirit to do otherwise.

Where I work it  is TRULY a complete GIFT of God. Growing up in poverty, I see everything from a different perspective. Would you like to be involved? Maybe you could fly out for a week. Maybe you could  come for a day or two and just do data entry for me. could transalte for us. Maybe you could make a REAL difference in somone's  life!!!!!! PLEASE, whatever God is speaking to you right now....will you be so kind to share it with me no matter how silly it sounds....PLEASE!!!!!!!!  I know my life's calling is to give people hope who are hopelessly desperate! God, WANTS to work in you life.......He truly, truly does!!!

Thank you to everyone who has volunteered this week. You have made a tremendous impack on our families. I love and appreciate ALL of you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Kelley Mac

Wednesday, May 16, 2012

A must read for EVERY dad...

Well, today, May 16th, 2012 my father died. And what did I "feel"? Absolutely nothing. No emotion whatsoever. Think about it, think about your child or children right now at this very moment. Could you imagine them grown? Could you imagine screwing up so bad that when they got married you not even being invited to the wedding? Could you even imagine dying and every one around you feeling relieved? This is my story.

My father left my mother for another woman when I was about 4 years old. I was the baby and a total daddy's girl.  I loved, loved, loved my daddy. Shortly after he got a job and moved to another city. I have a brother 9 years older and a sister 10 years older. To avoid paying child support for my brother and myself for that matter, he tried moving and avoiding paying. My mom worked two jobs my ENTIRE life to try to make ends meet. She would ask him to help and it was like pulling teeth to get him to help.

I remember an occasion where we didn't have any food. Literally we had ONE piece of stale bread left. My mom handed it to me. I tore it in half and gave it to her. I'll never forget that look in her eyes. Never. To think that at this time I knew my dad could help if he just wanted to. But, he did not. Miraculously after much prayer, my mom's boyfriend brought us groceries that very night. It was my first experience seeing a miracle happen before my very eyes.

Years went by and because of a court order I was MADE to spend time with my dad and my mom couldn't do anything about it. It was a miserable time and I hated every second of it. The older I got the less I saw him. I had no respect for him. He was extremely hard to get along with and because he hurt my mom SO bad and I watched him neglect me over the years I just couldn't get past it.

My brother is gay. As soon as my father found out, he gave my brother a piece of his mind and NEVER spoke to him again. Mind you, my brother is my rock through and through. Do I wish he wasn't gay? Yeah, I do. I think his life would be easier. But you know what? He has been with the same person for over 30 years. They both treat me and my children so very good. They both do for us more than my father EVER even thought of. As a matter of fact, my father really never did absolutely anything that I can remember out of the goodness of his heart. But, that is me. I actually have been thinking all day long and I cannot remember a single good memory of me and my father.

I know my brother and sister have a different experience because they are so much older than me. My dad actually has 4 children but only spoke to my sister. Why? I truly believe it was because of 100% pride and nothing else. His need to be prove a point. Dad's, please don't do this to your family. Thinking of divorce? You better re-think it real quick. Divorce has LASTING implications on EVERYONE involved.

As Father's Day approaches, what kind of dad do you want to be? Are you letting your pride stand in the way? What kind of legacy are you leaving to your children? When your time comes, what do you want your children to be able to say at your funeral? These are profound questions that you should seriously consider. Father's can make a HUGE impact on their children. It is about time that fathers step it up!! Let go of your pride and make a difference. You have SO much to offer your children and grandchildren. Do something you can be proud of....with no regrets. Even if you have regrets, start over TODAY....make a difference in your children's lives and the generations to come!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Friday, May 11, 2012

My Nosey Angel

I don't even know where to start this entry! When I was first diagnosed, literally just days before my surgery, I got free tickets to go to "Sing for the Cure" in Dallas. We went and it was SO awesome. But before the event started, we were walking around and we saw these "two guys" wearing pink suits and pink shoes, one of them had on a pink hat too! I am saying in this blog post "two guys" because the first time I mentioned the dad in a post I said I met "a big black guy". I think some people got offended by that. But I don't see color!! If he was a big white guy, I would have said "a big white guy"!!

Anyway, we saw them and immediately went up and were just so excited that the dad and son would support their wife and mother like that. Well, as it turns out, the DAD was the breast cancer survivor!! I couldn't believe it. We took their pictures and later on we ran into them again and I took my picture with them. We talked for a bit and he encouraged me and told me a little bit about his story and I think he gave me his card or I gave him my info...I can't even remember right now. So, keep in mind that this was at the Myers Symphony Center which is huge. We go get our seats and lo and behold, they are both sitting next to us!!!! I was like..."uh, NO WAY!?!?" I knew right then God was up to something.

After the event we saw each other again and he encouraged me more and I told him how nice it was to meet them and then what else would I do but give him a big hug! I saw his eyes light up and he smiled SO big. I'll never forget the look on his face as long as I live. It is a shame to say that his eyes lit up because he was so surprised that this white girl would give him the time of day much less a big fat HUG! This man e-mailed me, called me, encouraged me and he hasn't stopped doing so to this very moment. We are friends for life. I get him and he gets me too.

It is really weird because if we would have just met on the street, we probably wouldn't have become friends. But this was a God ordained moment. A moment in time that bonded us together forever. I have been desperately needing to "feel" God's love. And oh what a week it has been. He has shown me every single day how much he loves me. The first two days of the week I got totally random complements from two different people. Yesterday, right when I felt like I was about to bust into tears, my hubby called me. I didn't have time to answer but it was nice to know that he was thinking of me. Today, my bosses wife sent a beautiful single rose with him for ME to work. Just because.

I say all of this to say that you just never know who's ANGEL you might be. This "guy" I am talking about, his name is Michael. Funny, I just realized I've known him all this time and I don't even know his last name. Every time he calls me, he calls me "sis". I just love it!! No one calls me "sis" but him and it thrills my heart to hear it! OH, and by the way, his nickname is "Dr. Nosey" because he asks so many questions! But I love it.

When we have a "thought" or and "idea" we need to stop and ask ourselves is this just a random thought or something God might be up to that will drastically impact the life of someone else. Michael bought me the angel in the picture. I guess you could say he's like my hero. "LET" someone else impact your life or better yet, GO IMPACT THEIRS!! And don't you dare let FEAR stop you from doing so!! It could change their life FOREVER!

Saturday, March 31, 2012

Could it really be possible?

Hey Survivors!!!!

I haven't been blogging here in SO long. I do apologize. After having chemo and going through "Chemo Brain", I wondered if I would ever get back to my normal self. If you know me, you know I have a SERIOUS TYPE A personality!! I will never forget my chemo class. Where the nurse tried to reassure me that most people that can really notice chemo brain are those who are very detail oriented, pay attention to detail, are very organized and have a type A personality. At which point I started to freak out internally since she basically described my personality!!!!

When I had my first treatment, a dear friend of mine who is also a survivor warned me about it. And she doesn't even have my personality. I was driving to my doctor appointment when I realized I had taken the wrong highway. I turned around and felt good at that moment that I realized I was going the wrong way and turned around. But about 5 minutes into my drive, I realized I had no memory as to how to get to the doctors office. Which made me totally panic because I had driven there several times a week for many weeks at this point. I called Deryl and was crying my eyes out. Not many people know this side of my story. My survivor friends do but not my "regular" friends.

Cancer rips SO much from you. It is so funny how when it is all over people just think you are done. Life just moves on. Well, not so fast. It sucks. If you know someone who is a survivor you should seriously show them mercy. If you are a survivor, keep your head gets much better. One of the things that drove me crazy about chemo brain is that I couldn't remember words. One day, I was at Chick-fil-A with the girls and they had a little container of Cheerios. I dumped the Cheerios out and asked them if they wanted some of my Cheetos. They started laughing and what was funny was that I knew when I said it that something was wrong. As soon as they said the word Cheerios I just couldn't believe it!

Here it is 19 months after my last treatment. Literally, about two weeks ago I felt a FLOOD of memories come into my mind. It was truly the wildest thing EVER!! I would wake up thinking of things I had forgotten or needed to do. Every day it would increase. I was like my old self. EVERY single thing I needed to do was coming to my mind!! It was incredible. I mean I PHYSICALLY felt it in my brain. SO WEIRD!!!! I could obviously tell it was SO VERY different. With each day I remembered more and am still remembering more to this day. It is AWESOME!!!! TOTALLY AWESOME!!!! I have so much hope and feel SO darn secure!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It is like ME is back. I guess deep down I thought I was gone forever. I KNOW I am an awesome administrative assistant. But I didn't feel on top of my game for so long. But now that I am actually feeling like my old self I feel like I totally ROCK!!!! What an amazing feeling. Before chemo I knew what I was capable of. I was so solid, so confident. But cancer and chemo stole that from me. Now, I am getting back to ME!!!!

So ladies, hold on to your faith. Hold on to HOPE. It DOES get better!!!! I'm living proof. It may take you down but it can't keep you down!!!! Things will turn around. I promise you.

Please don't forget that you can contact me anytime you want. Even if I don't know you and we have never even met!! I love helping survivors in any way I can. We have to stay united!! Breast cancer bonds women together like nothing I have ever seen before.

You can reach me at


Thursday, January 12, 2012

Here we go....

Kelley says,

Well, today I am making my second blog live. It is kinda scary but SO exciting all at the same time. God has sent SO many people my direction that have struggled and are currently struggling in this area. Through "Feel the Tatas" I was able to reach out to more women than I ever thought possible. It will never cease to amaze me how so many people do not feel like they can open up about some of the trials in their lives. It just breaks my heart.

But I am so thankful for the internet because it allows those people to connect and get hope from complete strangers which sometimes is just easier in certain situations. I do hope that you will please remember this blog and send any female survivor you meet here to get hope, encouragement and maybe a few answers. As always, they can contact me any time by any means for free at any time. And be sure to have them check out the "Sewing for Tatas" page on this blog to get a hospital gown for themselves.

I ask that you would pray for my hospital gown ministry that God would provide the funds and the workers I need to see this vision come to pass. I'm already getting orders and will soon run out of gowns. Please believe with me in prayer!!

If you are interested in following along this journey that we are on in our marriage and want to see what all God is doing in our lives on that front, I ask you to please "follow" the new blog at Please be sure to check out the "pages" so you are up to date. If you follow me regularly, the only post you haven't read is the most recent. Please leave comments on the new blog and let me know what you think. And show us your support by following us. Thank you to everyone for all your support for "Feel the Tata's" I hope it becomes a wonderful place for cancer survivors. And I hope "Sometimes She Cries" becomes a refuge of hope for people who are struggling in their marriage. I can't wait to see what God is up to!!

Love you all...and I always will!!

P.S. You can now "Pin" to Pinterest either of my blogs from the blog homepage. You can also follow by entering your e-mail address and Blogger will e-mail you anytime there is a new post! Super sweet!


Sunday, January 8, 2012

New changes for "Feel the Tatas"

Kelley says.....

When I started, which seems like a lifetime ago by the way, I started it as a way to inform family and friends of my health updates. Slowly but surely other people started referring newly diagnosed women to my blog. Then women started contacting me thanking me for being so frank about my emotions and my feelings.

Not long after that I got the idea for "Sewing for Tatas" and then that became a HUGE vision of mine. But 2011 brought BIG changes to my life. As Deryl and I started blogging about our walk through overcoming our marital struggles he mentioned that maybe I needed two blogs. At first I was thinking...NO WAY. But as I started to pray about it I realized that I really do have two missions in life. My first mission is to help women....period. I want to reach out to all women but I want newly diagnosed women and women going through treatment and those about to face breast surgery to have a place to come for hope, peace and an outlet to express their feelings. I want them to read about the truth, and when they read my words they realize they aren't crazy but the feelings they feel are actually normal.

But after the events of this year, if a newly diagnosed woman were to come to my blog, they might be confused and if they got to reading the entries they might actually be very frightened as to the possibilities that the same thing could actually happen to them and that is way too big of a pill to swallow when you are just starting your cancer journey.

SO, after my faithful followers have had a chance to read this post, I will make my second blog LIVE and all 2011 marriage related entries will be removed. Don't worry, they will all be available on the new blog. And there our journey will continue. If you know of anyone who is newly diagnosed or going through their own cancer journey, please refer them to I would greatly appreciate it.

Secondly, when I post my new blog address, please follow me and show your support for Deryl and I and this journey we are on!! And then if you know of anyone who has been affected by pornography in their lives, please forward them and tell them all about my new blog!!

I set up a new "page" on the home page of called "Sewing for Tatas". Please check it out. I am starting to get the word out about it but I need help!! I have had all the graphics done for Feel the Tatas t-shirts and they are awesome!! But I need someone to contribute to help me pay for the actual shirts! So please check out the page and pray about how you can be a part of this awesome ministry!! It is my dream to be able to give every newly diagnosed woman a hospital gown to bring to all their many doctor appointments. But I cannot do this without help! Please take a couple of minutes to read about that. Selling shirts is my first step in being able to raise money for the gowns.

Thank you to everyone who has followed my blog and have hung in there with me throughout the most difficult years I have ever faced in my entire life. I will be continuing to post to this blog but will also be updating my new one with Deryl as well. I know I didn't mention what my second mission in life is but you can read all about that on my "pages" in my new blog. So keep your eyes blog will be live by this time next week.


Sunday, January 1, 2012

My new job part 2

Kelley says.....

As always there is so much I want to say that I have to really ponder what I want to write. I guess I will just start by telling you more about what goes on at my job. We have clients that have hit a bad patch in their lives. Some of these clients are executives who have lost their jobs. A lot of them are just like me and you.

They start off by making an appointment to come in. When they get there they are greeted by a volunteer. Then, they meet with a counselor who is also a volunteer. The counselor gets their story, asks them questions to get to know them better and see what is going on in their lives. Then, the client is presented the gospel!! How awesome is that?! There are lots of tears and awesome stories that come out of this time. Once they are done with the counselor, they get to go pick out clothes for each person in their family and any household and miscellaneous items we have that they may need. Once they are done in our clothing room they are met by more volunteers who have all their food items on a wagon and their items are taken to their cars and unloaded for them.  They can come and do this once every 30 days.

We have many events throughout the year. I started at the beginning of October and for Thanksgiving we gave out frozen Turkeys and all the trimmings so they could fix their own meals at home. It was a great day. We all went and volunteered and the girls met people all day that were in the same position we were in back in 2009 when Deryl had lost his job.

For Christmas we had a big Birthday Party for Jesus. Every child received a gift as well as every adult! It was so amazing. I just loved every single minute of it and again, my whole family was able to be a part. After this we moved on to what is called "Adopt-a-family". These families stories break my heart. Most of you who know me or have followed me for a while know that I grew up very poor. I lived many years of my childhood in trailer parks. I was always so embarrassed and always picked on and bullied because of it.

The majority of the families who filled out an application in hopes that they would be adopted live in trailer parks. With the exception of families who actually live in old chicken coops. Yes, you read that correctly. There are some old chicken coops that were made into an apartment type living environment and this section is very close to the trailer parks.

I must say that the following story blessed me more than anything else I have experienced at my job so far. The day we were going to deliver some gifts it started raining. I just couldn't believe it. A lot of these people don't have any transportation and if they do they don't have the extra gas money to come pick up their gifts. But it isn't really somewhere you want to go after dark. So delivering gifts was proving to be difficult.

If we didn't get these gifts to these families, they weren't going to have Christmas. I couldn't stand it. I was determined that I would do everything in my power to get as many gifts as I could delivered. Keep in mind, I had never actually been to these areas yet, I had only heard about them. I loaded up my 4 Runner and we loaded up another volunteers SUV and off we went. It was dreary outside and sprinkling off and on. As I got started with my deliveries and I started getting glimpses into these peoples lives a flood of memories came rushing back in my mind from my own childhood. I thought about how awesome it was that God provided this job for me. I felt so incredibly blessed at that moment but so sad that nothing like this existed when I was young. There is just no way for me to go to work each day and not be so very thankful.

I think some people really have no idea what it means to be poor. I mean I know for a fact that some people actually feel like they are poor if they can't go out to eat and to the movies whenever they want. I myself have felt poor if I can't go get clothes for my children that they need. But let me describe poor to you. The majority of applications we took in for families that were hoping to be adopted didn't request dolls or toys or things you would imagine for their children. They asked for socks, underwear, and shoes. Some of the ladies asked for cleaning supplies. The closer it got to Christmas the busier we were. We ended up being totally booked all the way until January 10th and no one could even get in for an appointment. People were calling in saying that they were completely out of food or that their electricity had been turned off.

We all know that things are bad in the economy right now but things are much worse than you could ever imagine for a LOT of people. My job is at a non-profit and they are ran almost completely on volunteers alone and they accept no help from the government. They run strictly on donations. I just think it is amazing and I ask you, my faithful followers of this blog to pray that God would bless my boss and his wife abundantly!! They have a vision to have a medical and dental facility on the property as well. They do SO much more that I would have to write a book to tell you all about it. But it is wonderful.

We have a short bible study and prayer time every Monday. We pray for the clients and other things. On my first Monday there, I found out that not only that small group of people but that several HUNDRED people had been praying since early in 2011 for the perfect person to fill my position. So people were praying me into that job back when my world had completely collapsed back in Texas!! Isn't God just SO darn amazing? I still can't believe it. I know there were the naysayers that questioned how we could have moved so quickly but they just didn't understand. When I found out how so many people who didn't even know me had been praying for me I just couldn't contain the tears. God never ceases to amaze me. So I am here to tell you once again that God is a God of the impossible. Don't worry about what anyone else thinks. Just trust in the ONE who is always on your side and will NEVER let you down!! He is always, always, always FAITHFUL!!