Having a tough time?

Sometimes as a Christian woman it is hard. Actually, for any Christian...period. I think we as Christians have turned young people and others away from "the church" which in turn makes them doubt all they've ever been taught. In my life alone I have had church experiences that the kids witnessed first hand. Some actually reached out to my girls during a very difficult time. Not to love on them but to find out gossip about what was going on in our lives at the time.

The girls thought these people really and truly cared about them but found out otherwise. We all go to church like we are all okay and we are not. I met with a young lady the other night and I did not know her personally. I shared my story with her first so she could know I could relate to some of the things she is going through. Through that conversation and others I've had this week I just realize that we as Christians have done some real damage to others.

Sure, its nice to go to church and be all smiley, if in fact you really are. And it would irritate others if we went to church down and depressed every week. But what I have said since my diagnosis is that EVERY SINGLE PERSON HAS A STORY. We don't know what someone else is going through and we sure don't come across as a safe person to talk to. Let me stop here and say I am not saying ALL Christians.

My mom grew up pentecostal and her family preached hell, fire and brimstone only! She wasn't near as "religious" as they were. In my generation, I went with the non-denominational type church that wasn't so legalistic and uptight about everything. I just can't stand people who think they are better than you and you know they are standing there talking to you and judging you all at the same time.

Well, my children's generation appear to be very discerning and have the ability to see that going to youth they just go with a bunch of other hypocrites and they ALL have "clicks". This is the message portrayed to our children? Well no wonder they wander off so far away. I myself have been turned off by churches and church people and my husband has never recovered from what someone did to us 5 years ago trying to "help" in the name of God.

We are all human, yes. But I believe the more we are vulnerable and real the more people will be drawn to us. If they look at us and think they see perfection they will never be able to live up to that and might not ever give church or God another shot. I just wish we could all be real with one another.

Speaking for myself, I have realized this week that I am not defined by what or how ANYONE feels about me. My value is found in the God who created me and loves me so much that he gave his only son to die for me. The closer I get to him the more peace I have. Worship is something that gets me to that place. Sometimes when days are hard I look at my watch and tell myself that everything is okay, I just need to make it two more hours, if I do that it will all be fine. If two hours come and I still don't feel that peace I just repeat it. Before long, the more I seek God I am not trying to make it through a couple of minutes or hours. But rather, I am counting how many good days or weeks I am having instead the bad days.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that I encourage everyone young and old to get in a relationship with God himself. Let him reveal himself to you in a fresh new way. Have your own walk with the Lord and not one that belongs someone else. Find your God and learn everything YOU can about him. Rather than doubt all you've ever been taught about him, find him for yourself. God is so faithful. He loves you and cares about you and wants a real relationship with YOU. If you seek him....you WILL find him and your life will never be the same.