Wednesday, December 29, 2010

Excitement Brewing!!

Kelley says.......

For anyone who doesn't know and a friend from church are starting a sewing ministry. We're going to call it "Sewing for TaTa's". When I was first diagnosed, this friend made me two hospital gowns to wear to all my doctors appointments. I always got compliments on them and it just made me feel special that I got to bring my own gown rather than wear those old worn out ones they give you to wear. 

We have had several people donate material to our ministry. I have started talking about this more and more and on December 22nd, a package arrived at my house. A lady from church who knew I was in need of a portable sewing machine had purchased a brand new sewing machine for me and had it delivered to my house!! Then on Sunday at church, two ladies who love to sew told me they would absolutely LOVE to help us sew. SO, we will be getting together once a month to sew hospital gowns for breast cancer patients!

Even my plastic surgeons office wants some! I am getting so excited. I also found out today that I can volunteer here in Arlington at a cancer center starting next month instead of having to drive to Ft. Worth. That is such exciting news for me because I will be able to volunteer much more often.

I am still feeling the JOY!! I was going to make a video blog about it but just haven't had the time. But I will soon so you guys can see my hair!

Hope you all have a wonderful New Year's!!


Saturday, December 4, 2010


 Kelley says................

"You love him even though you have never seen him. Though you do not see him now, you trust him; and you rejoice with a glorious, inexpressible joy" 1 Peter 1:8

Ya know,  it was 12:45am a couple of days ago when I blogged. I love going to sleep early and waking up early. But since having my last surgery, I am not supposed to lay on my sides and I am such a side sleeper. Even with medication, I have not been getting much sleep. Here it is, 12:53 am and I am wide awake. 

I have been so excited and so on fire it is just amazing. This joy is really amazing. I mean, that night when I blogged last, I was literally trying to figure out if I was that excited and talking non-stop because of any of my medication. I realized that that wasn't it but then I remembered that while I was at Target I downed a Peppermint Mocha because I didn't want to carry it around in the store with my other items. So I was convinced that was it because I normally don't drink coffee. Then I woke up the next morning and I was STILL SO excited and talking non-stop and just full of unspeakable JOY!!

I have been talking this out and trying to figure it out with all my heart. You can't even imagine! I am doing things that are SO not like me. And I mean SOOOOOO not like me. I've talked this through for hours with Deryl and discovered that every single time a miracle happens in my life, it is when I get totally fed up. When I get to my wits end. When I scream at God and literally say, "If you are a man that cannot lie, WHY is your word SO contradicting?!!? The scriptures that are written on my heart are a lie? That is what it seems like because I don't feel you and you aren't here! I need you to show me you are real God! Please God! But God I love you so much that even if you never show me these truths here on earth I will STILL love you. EVEN if there ended up not being a heaven or a hell, I'd STILL love you and serve you because you are my absolute everything. Without YOU, there would be no me.

I have realized in the last few days that I truly have never in my life felt joy. True joy. I was happy when my children were born and at my wedding and at other "moments" in my life but NEVER, EVER joyful. I mean seriously, if I won the lottery I would be like "Well, that is so exciting". When something great happens, I would never jump up and down or do anything crazy. My boss is on a regular basis walking around being so stinkin' happy and clapping his hands SO loud. It really gets on my nerves sometimes because he is so happy. But now I realize it is JOY. I have really, really, really NEVER experienced this and I am so grateful. I have a story. I know most of you know what you think is my story. But I knew back in September God was starting to work on me to share another part of my story to save even more lives. I today am so scared to tell this particular part of my story. But I know in a matter of time I will have to be obedient so please be patient with me. It will happen in God's time and I know in my heart it will be amazing. 

Wow! What a year. I've got it goin' on!!! And it took me my lifetime to see myself. A good friend of mine, the one who actually is responsible for my salvation said to me yesterday "You see me". And it made my day. What a compliment, to see someone through all the !@#$ and still love them right where they are at. THAT is joy. THAT is God's love. THAT my dear friend is GOD'S GREATEST COMMANDMENT!!

More scriptures on Joy....

You make known to me the path of life;
in your presence there is fullness of joy;
at your right hand are pleasures forevermore.
Psalm 16:11 

 When I discovered your words, I devoured them.
      They are my joy and my heart’s delight,
   for I bear your name,
      O Lord God of Heaven’s Armies
Jeremiah 15:16 

These things I have spoken to you, that my joy may be in you, and that your joy may be full.
John 15:11

Thursday, December 2, 2010

The greatest day of my life!!!!!

Have you seen the new 2011 Camero's?  Oh goodness they are so fine!! I saw one yesterday that was the most beautiful red I have ever seen. I sure would love to have one of those!! But you know, before this new one, you couldn't convince me a new Camero could be better than the old ones. That is kinda like me today. FINALLY, I am baaaaaaaack!!!!!! It is me but only a much better version. Let me explain.

Excitement has been building within me since November 22nd when I had my reconstruction surgery. I mean, I have so much to be grateful for. My hair is coming back, I got my perfect boobs, no more chemo, I feel great, I'm alive! I have wondered for MONTHS if I would ever be like my old self. Like those old Camero's. But you know what, the 2011 version is WAY better.....who would have thought? 

The last three days I have felt something within me building up. Something great. I have had such an incredible week. Monday, a friend came by and gave me a very special gift. The same day since I couldn't drive, another very dear friend brought me a homemade lunch and we got to visit and I don't even think we mentioned the word Cancer! Tuesday, I started having much less pain from the surgery. Today, I have felt great. I woke up this morning and was straightening up the chairs in my kitchen and I, for no reason at all just said out loud...... "This is the day that YOU have made Lord and I WILL rejoice and be glad in it". I went in to work and had a very productive day. 

All day, this "something" was continuing to build. Almost with every breath it got bigger and bigger. I went to our annual Christmas service where we sing carols, make cards and ornaments, everyone eats together, it is just a ton of fun. I went there tonight with hair and no hat or scarf. I talked to so many of my friends and we didn't talk about cancer. I even went in the bathroom and showed one of my peeps my new boobs! I had a blast. I felt like "ME" again! I guess I just feel like this thing is FINALLY coming to a close and I can move on with my life. 

Just thinking about New Year's Eve is so exciting to me. It is going to be the most special New Year's Eve of my life. God is doing something in me....Something BIG. I don't know what it is but I can feel it. Let me just tell you that although nothing MAJOR has happened to me, today has been the BEST day of my ENTIRE life. Now isn't that just something? The fact that I can have true joy for no big reason is amazing to me. The verse that says "The joy of the Lord is my strength" has come alive in my heart. 

I know at some point all of us have felt like a nobody. Maybe this is you. I have felt this way many times. But oh dear child, God has already put something so amazing in you. HE made you and HE loves you just the way you are right now. He loves you and desires SO very much for your life. Do you realize that if you saw yourself the way HE sees you, you would do some seriously amazing things!! I think we should all start praying for God to allow us to see others how he sees them and to allow us to see ourselves like HE does!! I believe that we would all have TRUE JOY. I can't even explain how I feel right now. I'm on top of the world, the universe. Jumping up and down on the inside. It is 12:45 am and I am WIDE awake so full of joy. 

It is sad to say that I don't think this has happened to me not one single day in my ENTIRE life. And I am betting there are many of you who can relate to me. I can't even describe this feeling of joy. It is just PURE joy. So I think God is showing me to CHOOSE joy. When I am down and life has thrown me a curve ball, I can CHOOSE joy!! 

I have been questioning God. I have been having some real "Come to Jesus" talks with him! LOL
I have been asking some hard questions of him and throwing his own word at him asking him to prove it to me. No matter what!!.....I will love Him. But if His word is true then he needs to start showing me, that is for sure and this is exactly how I have been talking to Him. Well this week, He is showing me. And it started with the two friends I saw on Monday (you know who you are!)

My prayer all evening is "God, please don't let me lose this Joy"......."Please God, let this stay with me forever!! I feel like not only have I been given a second chance at life but I've been given a second chance.............period. I believe God is doing something really, really special and I can't wait to see what it is. Won't you believe with me? I'll be praying for all my faithful bloggers who are following me to experience this same Joy because truly, it is better than any drug. You can't BUY this kind of happiness. It can truly only come from the Lord. 

Today, is the happiest day of my entire life!!!! And yeah, I'm secretly praying God lays it on someone's heart to buy me that 2011 NEW Red Camero........and I'll take it fully loaded by the way......with a built in GPS.......and thank you in advance. LOL

Psalm 118:24 This is the day the LORD has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it.

Nehemiah 8:10 b  "For the joy of the Lord is your strength."   

It is my prayer today that you may be filled with pure JOY. That no matter your circumstances, you will CHOOSE JOY!!!!!!!!!!!!