Wednesday, May 16, 2012

A must read for EVERY dad...

Well, today, May 16th, 2012 my father died. And what did I "feel"? Absolutely nothing. No emotion whatsoever. Think about it, think about your child or children right now at this very moment. Could you imagine them grown? Could you imagine screwing up so bad that when they got married you not even being invited to the wedding? Could you even imagine dying and every one around you feeling relieved? This is my story.

My father left my mother for another woman when I was about 4 years old. I was the baby and a total daddy's girl.  I loved, loved, loved my daddy. Shortly after he got a job and moved to another city. I have a brother 9 years older and a sister 10 years older. To avoid paying child support for my brother and myself for that matter, he tried moving and avoiding paying. My mom worked two jobs my ENTIRE life to try to make ends meet. She would ask him to help and it was like pulling teeth to get him to help.

I remember an occasion where we didn't have any food. Literally we had ONE piece of stale bread left. My mom handed it to me. I tore it in half and gave it to her. I'll never forget that look in her eyes. Never. To think that at this time I knew my dad could help if he just wanted to. But, he did not. Miraculously after much prayer, my mom's boyfriend brought us groceries that very night. It was my first experience seeing a miracle happen before my very eyes.

Years went by and because of a court order I was MADE to spend time with my dad and my mom couldn't do anything about it. It was a miserable time and I hated every second of it. The older I got the less I saw him. I had no respect for him. He was extremely hard to get along with and because he hurt my mom SO bad and I watched him neglect me over the years I just couldn't get past it.

My brother is gay. As soon as my father found out, he gave my brother a piece of his mind and NEVER spoke to him again. Mind you, my brother is my rock through and through. Do I wish he wasn't gay? Yeah, I do. I think his life would be easier. But you know what? He has been with the same person for over 30 years. They both treat me and my children so very good. They both do for us more than my father EVER even thought of. As a matter of fact, my father really never did absolutely anything that I can remember out of the goodness of his heart. But, that is me. I actually have been thinking all day long and I cannot remember a single good memory of me and my father.

I know my brother and sister have a different experience because they are so much older than me. My dad actually has 4 children but only spoke to my sister. Why? I truly believe it was because of 100% pride and nothing else. His need to be prove a point. Dad's, please don't do this to your family. Thinking of divorce? You better re-think it real quick. Divorce has LASTING implications on EVERYONE involved.

As Father's Day approaches, what kind of dad do you want to be? Are you letting your pride stand in the way? What kind of legacy are you leaving to your children? When your time comes, what do you want your children to be able to say at your funeral? These are profound questions that you should seriously consider. Father's can make a HUGE impact on their children. It is about time that fathers step it up!! Let go of your pride and make a difference. You have SO much to offer your children and grandchildren. Do something you can be proud of....with no regrets. Even if you have regrets, start over TODAY....make a difference in your children's lives and the generations to come!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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