"Different, but better"

Kelley says.......

When I found out about what Deryl had been doing back in February, as you can imagine, I was in shock. I was completely devastated. From the very day that I called my sister and told her what was going on she told me that she knew how bad it was and what it looked like but in her spirit she saw Deryl and I married. She said she knew God had a calling on our lives and that God hasn't changed his mind. Each and every single time, she would claim this, speak this over me.

One of the things she told Deryl and then told me later was that God was going to work this all out and that it was going to be "Different, but better" Okay, great.....that is just wonderful I thought to myself. I don't like different but better. I didn't even like the sound of it. All I could think of was well, what in the world does different exactly mean? I'm sick of different and it doesn't seem better.

Let me explain. When she said this all I could think of was the following...

• I lost my breasts and now they are all scarred up and far from perfect......yeah, I don't think I like different, but better.

• When I lost my hair it grew back and now I at least have hair.......yeah, still not liking different, but better.

• I got to get chemo and reduce my chance of a recurrence but I STILL have lingering side effects.....different, but better?

• I left Texas and all my breast cancer support team.....DIFFERENT, BUT BETTER???????

I think you get the drift. I do NOT like different but better!! But after I was done thinking totally negative about this, I went back through my life and came up with the following...

• My boobs may be scarred and they might not look like what I anticipated but I AM ALIVE!!!!
• My hair was indeed long, thick and very pretty before cancer but now I wear it in a style I NEVER would have worn when I was the person I was before my cancer journey! And I get more compliments on it now than I ever in my life have had on my hair.
• Chemo side effects just suck. No one should have to go through these things. But again, I AM ALIVE!!!! AND, it helps others know I am not perfect. For a very long time, because of my determination to do well at all I do, I would come across as "perfect" to others. This always broke my heart because if only they could know the life I have had and got to know "me" as a person, they would know differently. Now that I can't always think of words or phrases that anyone else can or I totally misunderstand a simple instruction, God has shown me that people get to see right away my imperfections which takes away from what has happened in the past. What a blessing!
• I had three amazing support groups in Texas. I didn't think I would ever find a group here. The first one I went to here was all older women and not one was my age. But the second one I found was AMAZING. I was immediately drawn to these two women and the group was huge. After the group they BOTH came up to me and told me they felt a God connection to me and wanted my contact info!! I have become very good friends with one of them. The other one was one of 11 people in the entire world that had her kind of cancer. I knew the moment I heard her story she was going to die. I felt it in my spirit. We went to lunch together and shared our testimonies. I told her my whole testimony, something I have only told to maybe 2 people, EVER. She didn't judge me for one second. Then she needed a ride home after group one night and I got to spend a while talking to her. The next 3 weeks I wanted to go visit her and we were going to get together but each week something happened. One week, she had to go have fluid taken off her abdomen, the next week was the same thing, the next week she was hospitalized. She did come home towards the end of last week but she wasn't replying to my texts or FB messages. She was an admin assistant like myself and I knew it just wasn't like her to not get back with me. I called and left her a voice mail telling her I was really starting to get worried about her and to please call me. Finally, I decided I couldn't take it any longer so I drove to her house. I got about half way there and a number shows up on my phone that I did not recognize. If I don't recognize it, I don't answer. But something told me to answer it. I did and it was her husband calling to tell me she passed away Wednesday. 

 You may wonder how something like the last one could be different, but better. But this woman was amazing. She knew she wasn't going to make it. I never ONCE heard her complain. She cried a lot because she did worry about her husband and boys. But she was at complete peace with whatever God's will was. She would post FB statuses like "Lord, please take away this pain but I am so very blessed regardless". And she meant it! Her name was Angel and I truly wonder if she wasn't really one of those "Angel's in disguise" you can read about in the bible. Anyway, when her husband called me he went on and on about how much Angel thought of me and how much I meant to her. That meant the world to me because my heart is to touch the lives of many, many women. The fact that God allowed me, Kelley McElreath, to take part of some joy in the life of this precious lady amazes me and humbles me.

Now on to Deryl. Most of this year when I thought about that phrase "Different, but better" when it came to my marriage I just couldn't picture it. Deryl and I have always had a near perfect marriage. I don't think we had ever in our marriage had fights like we have had this year. Our kid's had actually never in their entire lives seen us fight. I can't tell you how many couple's came to us just to be near us because they longed to have a marriage like ours. I actually had a MINISTER tell me that if my children had never seen us fight then we just needed to learn how to fight!!!! WHAT?!?!? What terrible advice. God has blessed me with a wonderful, wonderful man. And just because others fight like crazy in their marriage does not make mine wrong!! I had to hold onto the Deryl I married. The Deryl I knew and loved even when I couldn't stand the sight of him. I HAD to force myself to see him through God's eyes and this was not always easy. But I KNEW what kind of marriage we had and I KNEW we were obviously meant to do great and mighty things for God's kingdom or the enemy wouldn't be so persistent in trying to take us down.

Now that we are finally on the other side of all our marital trials, Deryl is a better husband than I ever knew him to be. And I have always thought he was absolutely the most wonderful husband in the world!! But now he makes time to pray, meditate and get in the word every single morning. I see the fruits of all the prayers and fasting that was done on his behalf. It is beautiful, it is amazing, it is simply wonderful. I thank God every day that he had me in a place where I was financially unable to leave him. Yes, things are "Different but boy they are SO much better"

When you find yourself down, ask yourself what is "Different, but Better" in your life?

Kelley's SHUT YO MOUTH Challenge!!

Isn't it just like God to smack you upside your head with truth from the word that you NEVER even knew was there!?!?I spent last week fasting and praying about some different things going on right now in my life. One of the "words" I thought I was getting from the Lord was that I really need to learn to keep my mouth shut. Ouch! Don't you just love it when you are praying with all your heart for someone else and then God shows you how YOU need to change?! So, last week I started trying to put this into practice and I ended up having the best week I have had this entire year!

Last year, I did a 30 day "Worry-free" challenge with a couple of my friends. So today I started thinking if I could do a "Shut My Mouth" challenge or not. Well, as I started thinking about how difficult it would be I really sensed the Holy Spirit telling me that for the challenge, if it is not something that absolutely builds up, encourages, edifies and uplifts the person I am speaking to then it just doesn't need to be said.

You know how it is when you start something...you always say you will start the next day or on Monday, right? So, I decided I will start tomorrow! But seriously, all throughout the day today I started not only thinking about what I say but also what I am "thinking" about saying. Whoa!! I think some not so nice things!! I really felt SO convicted! I started to know without a doubt that this was in fact what God was calling me to do.

As a final confirmation, when I came home and was looking on Facebook, a friend of mine posted as his status the following scripture.

Proverbs 17:28:

Even a fool is thought wise if he keeps silent, and discerning if he holds his tongue.

SO...that was all I needed to go ahead and start the challenge this very day! Will you join me? I KNOW without a doubt that God is going to do a work in me throughout the next 30 days as I do this challenge. But I wonder how much it will effect OTHERS in my life and how much it will change my relationships. I have a feeling that at first, I won't be saying much!! But I expect BIG things from my GOD! I expect that HE will give me the words to edify each person I come into contact with and it will bless them tremendously and myself as well. I think I am going to make this a challenge to my children as well. I can't wait to see how it goes and what God does. ARE YOU UP FOR THE CHALLENGE???? ARE YOU READY TO SHUT YO MOUTH????

Pondering about FAITH

I have been pondering some things this week. I am mostly interested in getting your feedback and hearing what everyone else thinks about this topic. The topic is FAITH. I think there are two schools of thought or I guess you could believe both.

1. In order for your faith to work you must believe and put that faith into action.

2. Someone else can stand in the gap for you and their faith can work in your circumstance.

I myself tend to believe both scenarios are possible. In my experience it seems like the things I have struggled to believe for much of my life for example let's say "finances", that is where God wants me to step out and put my faith in action. But then on some things that come up that just seem totally impossible but someone else sees clearly that things are going to be okay, they can stand in the gap for you, pray and believe and put "their" faith into action on your behalf.

For instance, when I was diagnosed, several women came up to me and said they just had a strong sense in their spirit that this was all going to be okay. That it might be a difficult road but in the end I would be cancer free. I trust the discernment of these women so it was so easy for me to resonate with what they were saying.

So, what about when everything looks impossible? And maybe no one is standing in the gap for you or maybe you just do not fully trust everything is going to be okay because you yourself discern it? I think these questions trip believers up. Especially if you have had a particularly difficult life. Because I think if you have had terrible things happen to you it is so hard not to expect the worst from most situations. If you have had a fairly easy life, then it would be much easier to believe the best in every situation.

However, on the flip side of this, if you have had a difficult life and the worst has happened to you then I am confident that there has also been many times God has come through for you. So we have to do what David did and that is to encourage OURSELVES in the Lord remembering all he has done for us.

But is that enough? What if that isn't working? Then what do you do? What if you are a solid Christian and you love the Lord with ALL of your heart but your faith in a certain situation in wavering? The real question I am pondering is this.....If you do find yourself wavering, does that mean that no matter what you do it will not work out favorably? Simply because you don't believe??

I am really ready for some good comments here so please let me know your thoughts!! If you can't figure out how to comment on my blog, you can e-mail me your thoughts kelley@feelthetatas.com or leave them on FB.

Prayer request!!!!!!!!

Here is one of my very favorite quotes. "A person who lives in faith must proceed on incomplete evidence, trusting in advance what will only make sense in reverse" Phillip Yancey

Remember when I posted about my whole identity theft drama? If you didn't read it and are interested, the title is "Identity Theft" you can just scroll down on my blog and look for it. Anyway, when all that happened I was 100% sure that God had allowed that to happen because of something bigger. I thought to myself how what if I were to go volunteer or work for the American Caner Society (which is a dream of mine) and they did a background check. How EMBARRASSING! I might not have even got the job and might not have even known why!

I just knew in my heart that as shocking as it was to find this out and especially to find out the work it was going to take me to get it worked out that somehow God was in it. My biggest thought was that wherever I did end up working or volunteering, they were going to do a background check and I needed to have that worked out in advance.

Since moving to our house at the end of June I have been applying for admin jobs. Of course I was secretly hoping that I would not get an interview because I really wasn't sure I wanted to go back and work in the corporate environment. My vision is to fulfill my purpose....to help women. If I had everything I dreamed of I would work directly with newly diagnosed Breast Cancer patients and I would coach women after their treatment ends.

Well, early sometime this month I just decided totally random that I would do a search in the admin jobs section of Craigslist on "Christian Ministry". Can you believe that something came up titled exactly that in a city near where I live!?!?!?!? I go check it out and I meet all the requirements and have all the skill sets except for maybe one thing that I totally know I can learn very quickly. But the real kicker is that at the bottom it said you have to undergo a background check! WHOA...when I saw that, I just knew that this was for me.

So early last week I went in for my 1st interview and it went great. I have my second interview on September 16th. I must say that I hated the fact that I had to tell them about the identity theft and then I had to give them a letter from the District Attorney in Dallas with all my fingerprints on it to make a copy of. I think the reason that part bothered me so much is that when people don't know you they really have no idea if you are telling the truth or not. But, I just was very honest about everything knowing that if it was meant for me to have this job, then it would be mine.

The funny thing is that on Monday of this week I really started to pray for this organization that God would send the right person to them even if that person isn't me. Then today, I got the e-mail about my second interview! They are a non-profit that helps underprivileged people to get back on their feet. But one of the most incredible things is that they also have a ministry called "Ladies of the Light". These women have gone from being "Ladies of the Night" to "Ladies of the Light". They help them make jewelry so they can support themselves!! I just think this is so incredible!! What an amazing thing to do. Growing up in poverty myself I just couldn't believe every page I went to on their website brought tears to my eyes. I wondered how much my life might have been different if there was something like this for me and my mom.

So anyway, I am asking for you to pray that I will do a good job at my second interview on Sept. 16th at 10:00 my time which is 9:00 Central. That God would speak through me and give me wisdom and that if I am the person for the job, it would be very evident to them. But that if I am not the person for the job that they would choose the perfect person that would be loyal to them for many years to come and do a great job. I do hope that it is me but I know that if it is not, God has something else that is perfect for me and my purpose.

I just love that song that says "I don't want to sit around and wait for someone else to do what God has called me to do myself. Oh, I could choose not to move but I refuse" What is God calling YOU to do????

Just for today

Last week I blogged about choosing to have a good day....deciding to. It has been 8 days today since I got up that morning and CHOSE to get ready and face the day. I am so pleased to report that the last 8 days have been the best 8 days of 2011.


Today started out kind of shaky but I just did my routine of getting up, getting ready to face the day head on and then....I started to praise. Praise and pray. It is amazing how your day can get completely turned around if you will just praise God. Before I put on my worship music I caught myself starting to worry about things that are ALL out of my control. There wasn't one thing I was concerned about that I could control. The key is to catch yourself early on in the thought process. Many of the last 8 days including today, this has happened to me. But what I have done is just say to myself each day that every single one of those days have passed and here I am and everything is fine. Today, I did the same thing. I just said to myself that I am not going to let myself or my thoughts get out of control. I can just "be" in the moment today. And then you know what happens? I wake up tomorrow and it is day 9!!!!

I used to do this very thing religiously. But when major events happen in our lives, it is easy to get out of our routines. But that is when we need to do it the most!! The word does say that the enemy is out to kill, steal and to destroy. So the moment we let our guard down, he will attack. He is on the prowl and always will be.

Are YOU worried, concerned or stressed about some things in YOUR life? Then I challenge you everyday to do this. Just try it for one day and see how awesome it works. Right now, are you thinking worrisome thoughts? Give yourself today off. Just say that everything is going to be just fine and if you need to you can pick up that worry again tomorrow morning. Then when you wake up and see that all is well you can challenge yourself to do it for one more day.

I am certain you will have an amazing day if you just stick to it. I would love to hear how it goes for you. I can't wait to hear from you saying you are on day 365!!!!!!

TATA'S...fomerly known as Boobs, Breasts, Jugs and Knockers

For all of my male Facebook friends who are visiting my blog for the first time because of the title of my post...WELCOME TO MY BLOG!!!! I knew it would get you here!

Do you have any idea if the women in your life do self-breast exams and get regular mammograms? If not, you should ask them!! This saved my life!!!! Especially if you are married, you can make it fun! Ask your wife if she has been doing her monthly exams and if she says no, tell her YOU will do it FOR her if she doesn't. Isn't this fun?

I send out a free monthly e-mail that reminds women to do their self-exams at the first of every month and then I send a second reminder on the 5th of the month to make sure they have done it. All you have to do is send them to my blog and have them go to the "Contact us" section and they can e-mail me and just let me know they want to be on the list. They will need to give me their e-mail address of course.

I know it is weird, awkward, odd, and maybe even socially unacceptable for a man to talk to a woman about this. But you can tell these women my story. This is serious. We can make fun all day long but at the end of the day there are lives at stake and this includes your mother's, your sister's, your aunt's, your daughter's, your niece's and your friends. I think since men think about sex and women a whole heck of a lot more than we ever will, you could make a BIG difference in breast cancer awareness! You may be giggling but I think I am onto something. Men sure think about their wives breasts more than they do!! So put it on your iphone, your calendar, anything you can do to remind yourself to ask her if she is doing her self-exams and getting her annual mammograms. AND you can send her to my website to get on my e-mail blast.

I hope this has grabbed your attention enough to go grab the boob of the appropriate person (your wife!) and get familiar with them!! Please have fun but yet know how serious this is. You could be the one to save your wife's life by doing this or save the life of someone you love by just sending them to my site, tell them my story, or just simply ask!!

Thank you for visiting my site and I do hope you will return. And as always, if anyone you know is ever diagnosed with breast cancer you can send them my way. I will talk to anyone, at anytime by any means of communication for free.

"Feel the Tata's"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Breaking through

Well, I haven't posted in 6 weeks. That just isn't like me. Things have been really rough. I'm job searching. I have a job blogging which I love. Would love to do more of that or maybe something from home. Anyway, I had been really, really down in the dumps. Every day no matter how many prayers I said, how many scriptures I read or how many friends I called, nothing. I actually remember one other time in my life that this happened to me. I wasn't feeling down then, just wasn't feeling like I could find God anywhere. At that particular time I just told God I was going to grab hold of him and not let go until I could feel his presence again. I did and I got through it.

But I haven't experienced anything that has lasted this long before. Some time ago I blogged about JOY. God let me experience several days in a row maybe even about a week long of pure joy. It was the most amazing thing I have ever in my life experienced. Nothing and no one could take my joy. It was really an unbelievable, incredible experience. I woke up Monday morning and thought about that time in my life when I had that joy. I got up, took a shower and just got ready for the day ahead. I did my regular routine of reading the word and doing some devotions and I prayed. THEN, I decided that I was going to CHOOSE to stop being down! CHOOSE to think the right thoughts, CHOOSE to have a different mindset. It was a really good day. Today, I woke up and did the same thing again. It has been a wonderful, wonderful day and nothing special has happened at all. I dropped Rachel off at school and came home to start cleaning. I walked up the stairs and just stopped there feeling like I should pray. I started praying. The more I prayed the louder I heard myself getting.

I declared victory in my life, far and beyond favor over me and my family, I spoke life and complete restoration over us. I know it was God because so much poured out of me that I knew it was the holy spirit speaking through me. I raised my hands and I told Satan just where he could go! I claimed these things in Jesus name. I came downstairs and put on some upbeat worship music and ME, KELLEY started singing and dancing in my living room! If you know me you KNOW that is NOT me!! I was full of joy again. I have been SO happy today. I know victory is already mine. It isn't something I have to beg God for or hope I will have it. It is something I HAVE to claim and believe. THEN my faith can work!

Are you down or feeling depressed or hard on yourself? Are you at a time in your life where you can't feel God anywhere? Do you think you will never get through what you are going through because it seems impossible? Well let yourself have the rest of the day to have a BIG pity party for yourself. Do it up real good. Tell God how awful everything is and just how stinkin' unfair it is. Write about it then throw it away or burn it. Get real mad or cry your eyes out or do both!!!! Go to bed and in the morning DECIDE this is it! CHOOSE to have a better day. Make a CHOICE to take action and do something different today because what you have been doing is NOT working. And know that I am praying very much for all of you who God is speaking to through this post!!

Love you all!