Letting Go

Kelley says.............


As I sit here gathering my thoughts about what I am going to blog about this morning, I realize that there are a lot of you who don't know a lot about me personally. Well, I love to make handmade cards. I enjoy doing anything with my family. I work for my church which I really enjoy. And the thing that most people don't know is that I am a Life-Coach. 


When I got into coaching I started just as a client. And really the only reason I did it in the first place was because Deryl wanted to and encouraged me to as well. We were coached by The Gardner Institute in Southlake. They have a program called "Mindset for Success". I went through this program and it drastically changed my life. It changed who I was. Who I was before going through this and who I am now are so amazingly different. It was after this experience that I knew I too wanted to become a life coach and be able to take people through that same program so they could experience this life change. 


Last October, a friend sponsored me to go through what is called "Tres Dias". I had never heard of this before. It is like a "Walk to Emmaus". Anyway, with all the work I had done in my own personal life with the coaching, this was perfect timing. It too had a major impact on my life. I don't have enough space to tell you all that happened to me during my weekend at Tres Dias. The major thing that happened was that God set me completely free from the guilt that I had for many years of not having a relationship with my earthly father. I felt so free, like I could really move on in my life.


So, I had all these life changing events happen and I did so much soul searching and connected with God like never before and then out of the clear blue sky...........CANCER. What?!?! I kept wondering to myself how in the world I could make so many changes in my life, do so much internal work and do all the work it took to go through all of that and become such a different person and turn around and get cancer. I couldn't understand it until yesterday. 


Yesterday was just a down and dark day. I couldn't really pinpoint what exactly was wrong. I talked to Deryl on the phone around 6:00 and I realized that now that the surgery is over and the initial shock is over from my diagnosis, it is just now really starting to sink in what has happened to me. My own life-coach said that this is just like an amputation. Which I guess I really didn't think of it that much before because I knew the only thing I could be concerning myself with was just trying to make it through the surgery. Now that the surgery is over, more is coming to the surface. 


When I was talking to Deryl, we were talking about how much differently I would have handled this whole thing before I went through all of this personal growth. In that moment I saw this vision, which I don't think has ever happened to me before. I saw the "old" me still being an angry and bitter person and this cancer staying in my body for a long time and me never discovering it and then me dying from it. I then realized that because of all the work on myself that I have done, is the reason why it surfaced. I am feeling like all the hurts of my past just worked itself into a tumor and has now been removed from my body. I don't know about you but I think this is a HUGE revelation. 


Cancer or no cancer, I think this is what happens to people. They go through things in their lives and then they hold onto the hurt, anger, bitterness, grief, etc and who they are dies. Who they had the chance of becoming never comes to pass because of holding onto the past. I saw a picture of a man standing looking at himself in the mirror. Only instead of seeing his face he saw himself from behind. I unfortunately couldn't capture the image because I sure would love to show it to you. Anyway, I thought it was the perfect picture to show how so many of us do that every single day. All we see is our past and our past is so big that we can't even get a tiny glimpse of our future. 

I believe that there is something God wants to show you today. What are you holding onto that you need to get rid of in your life? Sometimes it is scary but God can handle it. Even if it is only one thing from your past that you can turn over to him and let go, that will be a wonderful start. If you have no idea what that would be, imagine yourself looking in the mirror and instead of seeing your future, you saw your past. What would be the first thing you would see? I am guessing whatever you see is exactly the thing God is wanting you to let go of.