Kelley says............
Well, the appointment was yesterday. Turns out that the cells in the tumor were dividing at a rate that was alarming to the medical oncologist. As well as another result showed that there was statistically a 13% chance of the cancer returning in the bones or some other organ within the next 5 - 10 years. If I do not have any treatment at all and it comes back, there will be nothing they can do for me but try to prolong my life the best they can. If I get this done now, it could kill off anything that might be lingering in my body that they can't see right now.
I don't want to do this. But I don't want to not do it either. That is kind of how it has been so far on this journey. All the choices I have to make in this ordeal suck, totally. I mean, in reality I could do everything possible to try to prevent it from coming back and it could still return. But at least if that does happen I will be able to say that I have done absolutely everything in my power to make it not come back.
This whole process will start on July 2nd. I will go every three weeks for a round of Chemo 4 times. I should be done in September. They say that I will for sure lose my hair in about 17 days after my first treatment. As most of you know, I think that is my greatest physical asset and this will be very hard for me. I never really had a hard time at all with the fact I was going to lose my breasts. But having no hair you can't really hide. I know I could wear a wig but I don't think I want to do that. It is way too hot in Texas for a wig and I know it will be itchy and pricey. I think this is going to be really hard on my family because now I won't just be sick, I will look sick too.
But at least I will hopefully be completely cancer free and it is only 3 months of my life. In the grand scheme of things, that doesn't seem like that long to be free of this forever. I am still not totally healed from the surgery. I am really praying that God would touch my body and heal these areas. It is really frustrating.
I get really bummed writing a post like this. It is just all the facts and seems like a downer. But ya know, that is kind of my life right now. I hate it. I wish it didn't have to be like this. But it is. Right now, even though it may not sound like it while you are reading this, I am in a good place emotionally. Honestly, I still just cannot believe this is happening. I'm sure it will creep up on me and I'll have another melt down before my first treatment but I am confident that I will pull myself out of it like I have in the past and I'll be just fine.
My prayer request is that God would heal these sores from surgery completely and that I would have minimal side effects from the treatment. That God would handpick every single person I come into contact with during this whole entire ordeal. And that God would wrap his arms around my loved ones during this time.
Kelley
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Kelley, you are beautiful inside and outside. If I had to pick your greatest asset, I would say it's your lovely spirit (and it's easy for all to see and feel that it's filled with the light of the Holy Spirit).
ReplyDeleteKelley,
ReplyDeleteI will pray with you for the things you requested. You make me put things I am dealing with into perspective. Thank you!