Monday, May 17, 2010

Bye Bye Boobies

Deryl says........Well tomorrow is the day. I am surprisingly calm at the moment. I have been very nervous the last couple of days. They gave Kelley some xanax for the anxiety. I should have asked for some as well. I didn't sleep well last night. I don't know if I will be able to sleep at all tonight. It is scary to know what she is going to go through. I feel the most anxiety when I imagine what it must be like to be in her shoes. She is so strong it amazes me.

She came home from the plastic surgeon today and the surgeon had drawn all over her boobs with a permanent purple marker. She has to take a shower tonight and when she is done I am charged with the task of redrawing those lines for her. I asked if I could color them in as well but she said no. I was thinking that it might be fun to draw on her on a regular basis. She could be my canvas! Well, I like the idea but we will see if she does when all of this is over.

We have had a lot of laughter tonight. Kelley's sister is here and our friend Naomi from Oklahoma is here as well. It is moments like this when I cherish family and friends most. Why do we need a crisis to bring everyone together. Even though I have been nervous and Kelley has had her emotional moments this has been a great week. The friends who have been there for us in so many ways has been so humbling. Just laughing and hanging out together at our "Screw Cancer" party. I have loved it. There is so much to be grateful for. It is so much more obvious now. I knew it before but I notice it more often these days. The company I work for is so great. They are letting me work from home while Kelley is recovering. They have been so understanding when I have had to go to doctor after doctor with Kelley. If you are ever looking for a good company to work for I highly recommend Nationstar Mortgage. I think you can tell a lot about a person or an organization by how they treat you in a time of trouble and my company has been nothing but supportive and understanding.

Well my wife is never going to look the same after tomorrow. I have thought about that quite a bit. I have wondered to myself if it was going to bother me at all. But all need is one look at her smiling face to know I could say bye bye boobies forever without one regret. Kelley is not her body. Her looks may be what attracted me to her initially but you cannot stay happily married for 15+ years when your relationship is based on looks. She is an exceptional woman. She has been through so much in her life. She really deserves a break. You would never know that she was raised in poverty by a single mother, lost her 3 month old son to SIDS when she was a teen, lost her mother to cancer when her mother was 53, and is now battling the very same disease that took her mother's life. If you know Kelley you would know that she doesn't live back there in the difficult places of the past. She lives in the moment now more than ever. She is an inspiration to all who know her. I feel honored to be her husband. She feels things so deeply. When she loves someone she love them with all her soul. When she cares for someone she cares sincerely with all her heart. She empathizes so deeply she has to be careful what she gets involved in as it can overwhelm her emotionally. She love all those crazy ladies from her womens group. I don't know what you ladies talk about but I see her smirking and talking on the phone some times to you girls. She will hang up and have a big smile on her face or sometimes tears in her eyes. She tells me she just wants to have an impact on the lives of women. She has obviously been very successful at doing that already.

I think the thing I want to communicate most is that we will be OK. This is not going to be fun. But we will come out on the other side better than we are now. Wear pink tomorrow if you can and please pray for Kelley. Much love!

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